fourteen | Entries tagged with :(

[ Xion resolved to herself, today, to go see Guy. She hasn't gone yet, and is in fact still in the clinic with Luke when she decides she needs to do -- something. Anything. Though she can't imagine how much harder it is for Luke -- his original is dead, he's the one that's dying -- it's been crushing her, too.

And since she's planning to go see Guy, anyway...

At some point, she presses a kiss to Luke's forehead, tells him she'll be back later, and slips out of the clinic. She needs something to eat, anyway, and probably a shower. But on her walk home she opens her journal to ask something of the village, something she never normally asks. She looks and sounds very, very tired. Not sad, just ... infinitely weary. ]

Does anyone want to spar? I can do weapons, but I'd prefer hand to hand. I don't mind either way.

[ She pauses, opens her mouth to add something else, then lets it go and shuts the book.

A short while later, she writes something else: ]

( Sanji | Locked 100% )

I need to talk to you.

[ And then, finally, much later that day, long after dark and long after her talk with Guy, she reopens the journal to write out one last message. It's late at night, and she waits until Luke is dozing. ]

( Locked FROM Luke and Guy | 100% )

If you needed to cheer a friend up, what would you do?

I don't mean for a specific friend. I know there are certain things you can do for particular people. I just mean in general, I guess. If you just had to do something, what would it be?

Oh, um, please only write back. I'm - trying not to wake someone up.

[ Things have been kind of strange and hard and a little sad lately. It's been difficult at best to keep her mind off Axel, to keep from dwelling on the sheer fact of his death, and she's been working even harder than usual to keep herself distracted. Her hours at the clinic and her school work are sufficient, for the most part, not to mention her Kyoshi training, the SOS Brigade.... though the quiet hours of the night are very hard, especially with Luke still kidnapped.

But she does try, very valiantly, to keep her head up.

Besides, it's February now! And even with Luke still gone, there's something on her mind. For better or for worse, Valentine's Day is sort of their one year anniversary as a couple. Really, the week after was when they admitted their feelings to each other without experiment influence, but Valentine's Day was still the first time they ever said something.

The thought of the annual experiment makes her very nervous, since goodness knows who they might get stuck with!, but ... she wants to try to do something for him anyway. And she's hoping, against hope, that circumstances will let her do it.

So in the spirit of Not Being Sad, and also Doing Something Nice For Her Boyfriend, she opens the journal and makes a filter away from Luke, since she doesn't want him to find this when he returns. ... she filters from Asch, too, while she's at it, because that idea makes her feel kind of awkward. ]

( locked FROM Luke and Asch | 100% )

So, um ... if I wanted to write a song for someone, could anyone help me do it? I can sing, and sort of play the flute, but I don't know anything about actually writing music. And it's for a really special occasion, so ... I'd really appreciate any help.

[ A breath. THAT DONE, she has two more quick filters to make. ]

( Roxas | Locked 50% )

Hey, want to meet me in town to grab something to eat? Maybe even some ice cream? [ WHO CARES IF IT'S COLD ICE CREAM IS FOREVER. ]

( Ganondorf | Locked 90% )

Hey, I don't think--

[ ... that's strange. Did her filter just ... break?

... oh. That can only mean one thing. Well, maybe he'll get better once he's home? ]

( public )

For anyone who might be wondering, it looks like the man known as Ganondorf has gone home.

[ There is a girl in the village plaza who looks rather out of sorts as she sits on the ground, legs out to her sides, in a random sort of spot. She is kind of blank-faced as she stares at the other passers-by, with only a hint of confusion in her brow to betray how she's feeling.

Though it might be hard to see her face clearly under that short cape she's got on. It's black, with silver tassels. And though she's trying to watch what's going on around her, at the same time, it's like she wants to hide. But then, why isn't she moving away?

Maybe it has something to do with the carton of eggs on the ground next to her.

Though it probably has something to do with the fact that she now has white wings for arms. Can't really pick up a carton of eggs when you don't have hands, can you?

So the strange hooded girl with the feathered arms, at a loss, will just sit there for a while trying to figure out what to do.

God help you if you step on her eggs, though.

"'Poor little ugly duckling!" she would say. 'Why are you so different from the others?' And the ugly duckling felt worse than ever. He secretly wept at night. He felt nobody wanted him.

'Nobody loves me, they all tease me! Why am I different from my brothers?'" ]

(ooc; The Ugly Duckling, everybody. And yes, the pic is just a reference -- her feathers are actually white, not brown, and she's not wearing any other pieces of that costume. Cape, bird arms, and then her normal clothing beneath.)

[ It's been a long few days. Not nearly as long as it was for those on the draft -- a fact of which she is keenly aware -- but her heart feels so sore. Miyabi is dead, Kairi returned with a broken leg, Elicia reverted back to a little girl and left her that message that was so bittersweet... She feels a powerful need to find Nami and Sanji, to talk to both of them, but ... that ... maybe that should wait. Until she can look at them without crying... and comfort them, instead of being a burden. In the meantime, she needs to focus on something else -- actually put her energy into something useful.

An idea has been brewing in her mind for some time. And all of this mess -- all the pain and the fighting -- and Luke, coming to her just days before with a request -- has finally prompted her to act on it.

In her room there are quite a lot of books. They vary widely in subject, but there is one solid section dedicated entirely to medical texts, ranging wildly in their complexity. Teaching herself has been difficult; basic first aid is all well and good until you have to use it in an emergency situation, and anything beyond that...

Well. You just can't learn everything from a book. She knows that... has known for a long while she probably needed to do something like this. So when she opens up the journal, turning on the video function, she looks pensive.... but also quite serious. ]

Are there any doctors in the village who'd be willing to take on a student? I -- I know some magic methods of healing, but ... [ She shakes her head. ] I want to learn the real thing. I promise I'll work hard. Really hard. This means a lot to me.

[ A beat. ] And, if ... anyone in the village would like to learn some healing magic... [ She's already been teaching Haruhi, and now Luke. ] ... I'd like to help. I know some magic from my own world, plus I've got a lot of practice with Nala.

[ After that, a thought occurs to her. ]

( Draco | Locked 90% )

Can I ask you something?

[ ...

It's around 5 AM that this goes up. ]

[ Filtered from parents, grandparents, etc (though not any other relatives) | Locked 95% ]

Has anyone had dreams where they were... someone else entirely? I don't mean like living a different life. I had those too. I mean ... literally being someone else. In a different body and everything. It's ...

[ Scary. A frown tugs down the corner of her mouth. ]

What about ... different places? Like ... like there were other worlds out there. Lots of them, not just one.

[ Her dreams were vague, and fragmented, but she thinks she remembers... a city in a desert. And a place that was dark, and spooky, with all these tombstones and ghosts...

But what woke her up was something else entirely. A disturbing dream about being stuck in some sort of pod in a bright white place... and a man with long silver hair and orange eyes staring at her. Why had he been there? What had he wanted with her?

Why had it hurt like that? So sharp, and suffocating...

Her dreams suggest... something. Another person. But she's almost afraid to ask. Still... ]

[ Sora | Locked 100% ]

... Sora? Can I talk to you?

[ As soon as she finishes saying the words she feels silly for asking. What can he tell her? After all, they're just friends... not even best friends, like her and Ven are. Even if he was in her dreams.... Nnnn. Stupid Shifts... Maybe she should just go back to sleep. ]

(ooc; source for Xemnas being a creeper is here for the curious, at the section that starts with "Where am I?"

also to clarify, late, the post is only filtered from her direct maternal and paternal lines. that is, sanji, nami, hughes, alexei, brook... etc. all other relatives, aunts/uncles/cousins/siblings/whatever, are fine.)

[ Today is a day ... for filters. ]

( Tsuzuki | Locked 100% )

Tsuzuki-- I'm sorry if this is really sudden, but I need to ask you a really, really big favor. That -- the letter I wrote! [ a little breathless. ] Could I please... I really need it. Is there any way I could come get it? As soon as possible?

[ breathe, Xion. There are other things. ]

( Filtered SEPARATELY to Sokka and Fenimore | Locked 100% )

Hey, how ... how are you?

( Ven | Locked 100% )

Ven, I ... I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

[ Xion actually made all those filters fairly early in the day before bolting out of the house. She couldn't stay there-- anywhere near Riku right now-- it's too much.

Not that she won't be ducking out of sight at any glimpse of red hair.

She needs that letter....

Feel free to find her about town, but she'll be pretty jumpy. ]

(ooc; sorry for the not-very-open post. next one'll be better, I promise. AND in case it wasn't clear, this is happening earlier in the day of the 21st -- the day prior to the draft announcement.)

( Sokka | Locked 100% )

( Aqua | Locked 100% )

( Sanji | Locked 100% )

( Luke | Locked 100% )

[ Xion is out of the house today. Mostly because it's become almost impossible to stay there. She hasn't slept for more than a handful of hours since Vanitas attacked -- three days ago. She's so exhausted she can barely stay on her feet, but better awake and moving than a sitting target.

Who could sleep, knowing that at any minute someone stronger than you and your friends could break into your home and kill you whenever he wanted?

It's this question that drives her to address Luceti at large, once she's got herself settled on the railing of That One Bridge. Hey, it's like right next to her house and she wanted to sit on a bridge, so sue her. ]

( filtered AWAY from Vanitas and Saix | Locked 100% )

What would you do if you didn't feel safe in your own home anymore?

[ and this is to say nothing -- not a damn thing -- of how she feels about Roxas right now. He had no excuse -- what defense could you give? -- and Axel almost died -- for what? Why? Why had any of this happened? Does she blame Roxas, for extending the invitation, or Vanitas, for taking it? Even if she had something to say to him, she couldn't -- he hasn't been home in days.

It's a very numb Poppet that's sitting on that there railing, swinging her legs and staring at the water below. Please interrupt her thoughts -- for they are very grim ones. ]

[ Xion sits down to make this post in her room, quietly unhappy about it, but knowing she has to persevere. He wouldn't want her to be sad, she knows it.

She'll have to find a new teacher.

But Xion finds she just can't sit still, and rises, speaking as she moves down the hall. ]

For anyone who knew him... Longshot has...

[ then she notices something. Sora's door is slightly ajar, and the inside of the room...

as if entranced, Xion slows, then moves towards it, giving a gentle push. ]

Gone ...

[ it's empty. the room is empty, completely bare of any sign that Sora was ever there. ]

... home.

[ and that's it. Xion has lowered her journal, giving an upside-down view of the wall through the journal's camera as she stares at this empty room.

it takes a moment -- a long, numb, endlessly empty moment that may go on for two or even three minutes -- for Xion to sink to her knees. only then does she finally, slightly, come back to her senses. she adds her final statement in a voice that, while even, is just barely above a whisper. ]

And ... and Sora ... Sora has also ... gone home.

[ if heartbreak had a sound, it would sound like her voice. for anyone who replies to her over the journals, it will be some time before she responds. housemates will likely get to her first. ]

[ After yesterday's downpour, a nice change from all that heat, today sees a much calmer, steadier rain. It's peaceful, somehow, quiet and fresh in that way the world always is after a storm.

And it is to this gentle rain that Xion will awake, with a quiet gasp picked up by the journal at her side. There's a moment of silence, then, as the girl gets her bearings, finding her surroundings not at all familiar. Waking up in the plains right at the foot of the mountains will do that, to a person who's never been out that far.

Xion takes in all of this in a very dazed sort of way. She's alive. Again. For the second ~~third?~~ time. When by all rights, she really shouldn't be. Not at all. Feeling the rain on her skin, the ground beneath her body as she pushes herself up into a sitting position -- there is something vaguely wrong about all of this. ]

Oh. I'm... back. [ she sounds underwhelmed, and maybe the tiniest bit surprised.

Spotting the journal beside her, she picks it up without opening it and hugs it to her chest, standing and tilting her head back to stare up at those imposing mountains, obscured by mist and low-hanging clouds as they are. She breathes deeply, once or twice-- ]

I'm back. [ with feeling, now. rather on purpose, so that anyone listening to their journals can hear her. ] I'm back...

[ Finally she actually opens the journal, intending to seek out her friends, but looking at it ... makes her pause. For a long moment she just stands there, staring down at the page as the rain soaks the paper. She made them fight her. She hurt them. All of them, and strangers besides. And she remembers it all, with a clarity that makes her wince. It was wrong, horribly wrong. How could she have ever done such a thing, made such a selfish demand of them? Can she even face them now, having forced them into a situation like that?

Choosing instead to say nothing, she holds the journal loosely in her arms and looks towards the forest -- towards home. She's wondering, in all honesty, if she can ever really face them again. Her wings flutter with her anxiety.

Someone find her, or talk some sense into her, and bring her home. ]

(ooc; forward dated to tomorrow in the late morning.)

( Private | Locked 85% )

If-- [ pause ] If you're feeling sad or worried, do you have any stories or memories you think about to cheer yourself up? Or ... well, what do you think about that makes you feel better? If you don't mind, I'd ... like to hear it.

(ooc; feel free to hack the filter.)

[ It is a dizzy, sick, and weak Xion that finally manages to make her way back into town after having been dropped off at the outskirts by her generous mallynappers. She'd so rather much not be out in the open right now, but she needs help and she knows it. The farthest she can make it is the fountain in the center of the village. That's where she collapses, curling up in a ball on the ground, leaning back against it.

For the first time in months, she's in full Organization regalia. She'd started to leave off the gloves and the dark cloak, just opting for the plain black uniform underneath and a different coat. But now it's all back, and the hood is up, the cowl hiding her hair and eyes in its shadow. Considering she never has her face covered these days, it's pretty obvious she's hiding for a reason.

She's shivering. Maybe if she curls up in a tiny enough ball and keeps her hands pressed down over her head -- maybe if she hides well enough -- no one will see her before she can gather up the strength to get the hell out of here. ]

(ooc; oh christ. I love you all but BED. tags tomorrow.)

[ This one is not so stable lately. First it's the experiment, making her fall in love with someone her best friends hate, but whom she ... really ... er. Likes. Then it's Sora, getting so badly hurt (thanks Yuber) he ends up in the clinic, and despite his protestations, it's probably all her fault. It has to be. She's tired and she's so scared and no matter what she said to Axel, no matter how much everyone is going to worry, she can't stay.

She runs. Again. Into the forest, because it's the easiest place to get lost and the hardest place to be found.

When she finally stops and sits beneath a tree, she looks a mess. All she does is curl up on the ground in a ball, burying her face in her knees, like maybe if she's small enough she can hide from the whole world. ]