oo3 [ action // accidental voice ]

[fourteen]

[ Axel's not the only one who hasn't been in a certain apartment that much, lately. Xion's been scarce, keeping to herself as much as humanly possible except through journal communication. But right now, despite the cold, she's sitting on a bench in the center of town. At least she's got a puffy white coat on to keep her warm.

She's writing in her journal, at the moment. Doing ... math! Very simple math, just some addition, and murmuring aloud to herself as she does it. 363... 364... 365...

After a sudden pause, she crosses all of her work out, then sets her pen down, staring up at the sky. Despite her quiet voice, the journal picks up what she says anyway. ]

I turn a year old today...

[ Then she shuts the journal, so no one who isn't actually nearby right now will hear this part -- or see her expression turn suddenly sad. ]

Sora...

Comments

[fourteen]

[ EEP! She drops her journal in surprise for the second time today and blinks at Riku, startled. ]

Riku! Um...

[ sighing, she picks the journal back up, then gives him a soft, thoughtful frown ]

Yeah.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[... Heh. He shakes his head.]

Well... congrats, then.

[Somehow he doesn't seem to phased by the idea.]

Guess it makes sense. You were part of the Organization, right?

[fourteen]

......

Yeah. Birthdays were never celebrated there. I don't know if Nobodies really have birthdays.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

You don't have to worry about that here, at least.

[but, hm...]

But, Xion... Are you really a Nobody? I kind of figured Kairi's Nobody was Namine.

[fourteen]

... I'll explain later. Please, Riku. That's the last thing I want to talk about right now.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.

[he frowns]

Something happen, though?

[fourteen]

[ she looks at him for a moment, uncertain whether or not to tell him ... but even if he's younger, he's still Riku. the mask she'd been maintaining falls away and she suddenly looks deeply upset. Setting the journal down on the bench, she pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them, looking away from him. ]

I'm worried about Sora. I heard what happened. And ... I don't think Axel and Roxas are speaking right now, and I feel like it's my fault. I haven't even been home much these past few days. Everything's gone all wrong, somehow.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[... Dang. Yeah, he'll walk around to the other side of the bench so he's not, well, behind her.]

About Sora... he's been kidnapped, but it's happened before. All we can do is wait and hope he's in good shape when he does come back. Not exactly reassuring, but that's the Malnosso for you.

[he pauses, thinking this over]

You tried talking to them about this? Maybe there's more to it.

[fourteen]

[ she nods, but she still looks unhappy. ]

I read in the guide that there are kidnappings... it doesn't make me worry any less, though.

[ this time she just shakes her head and hides her face in her knees. ]

Yeah. I don't think it helped. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to wish I'd never come here at all.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[Hrm. He'll take a seat if there's room. He may not be particularly fond of Roxas, and Axel weirds him out, but still.]

Just give it some time. Maybe right now they need some space, but you shouldn't blame it all on yourself.

C'mon, it's not like you meant for this to happen.

[fourteen]

......

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[...Sora would be so much better at this.]

Why are you blaming yourself, anyway? I'm guessing there's more to this.

[fourteen]

... it's a long story. But I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be fighting right now if I hadn't shown up here.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm listening. If you're up to it, anyway.

[fourteen]

... [ she turns her head so her cheek is resting on her knee and she can look at him. she just looks sad and tired and hurt and unhappy. ouch. ]

No, I'm really not. Sorry, Riku.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

I figured you'd say that. Don't worry about it.

[He can kind of relate, really. He's kept his share of things private.]

But sometimes it's best not to keep those things bottled up. Trust me, I've tried.

[fourteen]

[ she just lifts her head enough so she can shake it. ]

It's explaining things that started all this in the first place. Telling them who I am, what I am...

[ sighs and buries her face in her knees again. ]

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

But it's the truth, isn't it? Sometimes it hurts, but would it really be better to lie about it?

[gdit. Upset girls... upset girls that look and sound like Kairi. Weak spoooot.]

[fourteen]

No, I know it wouldn't. That doesn't make it any less hard.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

So what if they found out on their own? What then?

[fourteen]

... by remembering? That's the last thing I'd want. For them to just remember all these awful things and I never told him...

[ she sighs ] It's already done, Riku. They know everything. I just ... have to wait.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

Just give it some time. They'll come around, and if not? That's their loss.

[fourteen]

... [ itty bitty teensy tiny voice ] And mine, too.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[... You know what?

Sigh. Riku's not exactly good at this, but here. Have an...awkward hug because obviously you need it, missy.]

... C'mon.

[fourteen]

[ okay, guess who's never been hugged before? that startles her into uncurling, her feet finally going to the ground as she blinks at him, eyebrows drawing up. after a moment she looks back down at her lap, expression drawing in real tight. she doesn't understand what he's doing, but it helps, somehow, and she leans into it a tiny bit. her expression is just ... crushed.

she'll stay quiet like that for a moment, until she gives a sudden, quiet gasp, putting a hand to her cheek. her fingers come away wet. there's ... water coming out of her eyes. ]

What...?