oo3 [ action // accidental voice ]

[fourteen]

[ Axel's not the only one who hasn't been in a certain apartment that much, lately. Xion's been scarce, keeping to herself as much as humanly possible except through journal communication. But right now, despite the cold, she's sitting on a bench in the center of town. At least she's got a puffy white coat on to keep her warm.

She's writing in her journal, at the moment. Doing ... math! Very simple math, just some addition, and murmuring aloud to herself as she does it. 363... 364... 365...

After a sudden pause, she crosses all of her work out, then sets her pen down, staring up at the sky. Despite her quiet voice, the journal picks up what she says anyway. ]

I turn a year old today...

[ Then she shuts the journal, so no one who isn't actually nearby right now will hear this part -- or see her expression turn suddenly sad. ]

Sora...

Comments

[fourteen]

......

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[...Sora would be so much better at this.]

Why are you blaming yourself, anyway? I'm guessing there's more to this.

[fourteen]

... it's a long story. But I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be fighting right now if I hadn't shown up here.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm listening. If you're up to it, anyway.

[fourteen]

... [ she turns her head so her cheek is resting on her knee and she can look at him. she just looks sad and tired and hurt and unhappy. ouch. ]

No, I'm really not. Sorry, Riku.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

I figured you'd say that. Don't worry about it.

[He can kind of relate, really. He's kept his share of things private.]

But sometimes it's best not to keep those things bottled up. Trust me, I've tried.

[fourteen]

[ she just lifts her head enough so she can shake it. ]

It's explaining things that started all this in the first place. Telling them who I am, what I am...

[ sighs and buries her face in her knees again. ]

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

But it's the truth, isn't it? Sometimes it hurts, but would it really be better to lie about it?

[gdit. Upset girls... upset girls that look and sound like Kairi. Weak spoooot.]

[fourteen]

No, I know it wouldn't. That doesn't make it any less hard.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

So what if they found out on their own? What then?

[fourteen]

... by remembering? That's the last thing I'd want. For them to just remember all these awful things and I never told him...

[ she sighs ] It's already done, Riku. They know everything. I just ... have to wait.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

Just give it some time. They'll come around, and if not? That's their loss.

[fourteen]

... [ itty bitty teensy tiny voice ] And mine, too.

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[... You know what?

Sigh. Riku's not exactly good at this, but here. Have an...awkward hug because obviously you need it, missy.]

... C'mon.

[fourteen]

[ okay, guess who's never been hugged before? that startles her into uncurling, her feet finally going to the ground as she blinks at him, eyebrows drawing up. after a moment she looks back down at her lap, expression drawing in real tight. she doesn't understand what he's doing, but it helps, somehow, and she leans into it a tiny bit. her expression is just ... crushed.

she'll stay quiet like that for a moment, until she gives a sudden, quiet gasp, putting a hand to her cheek. her fingers come away wet. there's ... water coming out of her eyes. ]

What...?

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[He gives her a slightly puzzled look at that.]

What is it?

[fourteen]

[ she looks at him, unable to stop the water that's coming out of her eyes, bewildered ]

What is this...?

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[She doesn't--

Huh. Riku takes a moment to think this over. Explaining crying isn't something he'd planned on doing, but he might as well.]

They're tears. You've never cried before?

[fourteen]

[ she shakes her head, then ducks it down to rub at her eyes. ]

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[Hoo boy. Well, he might as well explain...]

Crying's something people do when they're upset, usually.

[fourteen]

Oh...

[ well, she is pretty upset. and the tears just won't stop, for some reason. so she just leans against Riku and lets them go. she's very quiet, at least, aside from the occasional intake of breath and jump of her shoulders. ]

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[That's fine. He'll stay put and let her get this off her chest. She really looks like she needs it.]

[perplexme]

[The PROBLEM with that is, sup Riku, your favorite person's approaching because he saw Xion first. And then Riku. Hugging her.

...what.]

...uh.

[fourteen]

[ AND she's in tears. which becomes evident when she starts at his voice, looking up, and -- her eyes are wet and there are tear trails on her face. ]

R-Roxas?

[stilldontgotit.livejournal.com]

[Oh, great. Juuust who needed to show up.]

Heh.