fourteen | oo13 [ voice // action ]

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oo13 [ voice // action ]

[ Without any warning, a short, sharp shriek of fear is going to be transmitted across the journals. It's followed by dead silence, and a few whispered words too quiet to be picked up on.

A moment goes by in silence, wherein Xion notices both the room's other [Bad username or site: perplex_me title= @ livejournal.com] and her journal at the foot of her bed. Her voice is shaky when the journal picks it up next, and she's both addressing anyone who heard as well as Roxas. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -- it's -- I'm okay.

What's...

[ She could have sworn she saw him, just as she awoke. Right out of the corner of her eye, like some monster from her nightmares. It would be impossible to mistake that blue hair, those impossibly cold eyes... but there was no one there. Not to mention her dreams of the past few days haven't exactly been nightmares, so much as... ]

--Sora! Sora! Where is he?! [ very upset Poppet is very upset and isn't sure if she's really yelling this at Roxas, or at the whole universe. ] SORA!

(ooc; her voice replies will come a little bit after this entry is actually made; her thread with Roxas will chronologically come first. tags might be a little slow because there is a cat sleeping on my arms.)

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[a sigh. That means it's time to get this over with]

How're you holding up?

[ wilts a little. ]

...... I guess it's still hitting me. I thought I was okay with things before, but now ... now it's worse, somehow.

... The waiting?

[ nods emphatically, but once she's done she keeps her head bowed, not looking up at him ]

It must sound awful, but I wish it was just over with, so I could stop waiting and always feeling like ... this. So that Sora wasn't in danger anymore and Riku and Roxas and Axel didn't have to go through this. And Kairi, too.

[He almost stops walking, a hesitancy in his step.]

And you're... sure there's no other way. [he's asking honestly here; Xion doesn't strike him as the type to give up hope if there's any available option to take]

[ she glances up at him in silence for a moment, then looks straight ahead ]

I don't want to die. If I really thought there was another way out of this, I would take it. But ... I really don't think there is.

... [That's what he thought. He takes a deep sigh, pulls out a cigarette]

Alright.

How long do you have?

[ it's an ugly, bald question to ask.

and it strangely doesn't bother her as much as she would have thought ]

I don't know. If I got this many of Sora's memories this quickly... maybe a few months. Maybe till the end of summer... it could be sooner. I'm really not sure.

[Not long at all. No time.

He's sorry, Xion, but he's got a few more questions. For once, he does need to know]

And what happens at the end?

... [ this is the part she most hates to think about. she's silent for a moment, and now she's very obviously trying to avoid looking at him. ]

If it happens the same way... I'll turn into a monster. A big one. And I'll start attacking people... I-I'll try and get away from the village first, though. If I can.

[And now he does stop walking. And his voice is flat, but firm]

You're saying someone has to kill you.

[ she moves a few steps past him before coming to a stop. then she nods, just once. ]

Yes.

...

I see. [he starts walking again, slowly. And he doesn't say anything this time. Sanji can't bring himself to point out that killing her would be easiest now, while she's still her, and hates himself for even thinking the thought.

And he won't what she's going to do either, since that demands she make some type of choice.]

Well. [a sigh]

Whatever happens... or what you decide to do, your friends will help you see it through to the end. [Whatever that will end up entailing - doesn't make it less of the truth]

... [ she trails a little behind him, now. ]

Last time... Roxas had to kill me. He might have to do it again... or Axel. Someone strong enough to beat me... a fighter. It can't be Riku...

[ stops walking. shit. thinking about him in this context hurts more than she can put words to. ]

[... "I'll do it."

Except no, he can't. Hold her back, yes. Protect others from her, of course. But delivering the final blow his beyond him, even when such a stark exception is enough to make him pause.]

They'll... do it again. They're your friends, after all.

And we're not gonna let you hurt anyone, either. [He says 'we' because he can damn well do that much]

Does Riku know about this?

Edited 2010-06-06 05:46 (UTC)

[ his "we" reassures her. honestly it does. but then he asks that question and now her eyes are brimming with tears, though she's not crying. yet. her voice comes out very tight. ]

He knows. He's just -- not very good at fighting, I mean, he's working on it, but he hasn't-- and I think he might want to ... to be the one that does it, but Sanji, I couldn't, I just couldn't let him-- what if I killed him? I...

[ Xion buries her face in her hands, tries not to cry, and fails. ]

[Shit, you poor thing. Sanji has seen too many ladies in tears lately and the sight always breaks his heart.]

Oi, oi. [His voice is soft, soothing, when he embraces her in a tight hug] What did I just tell you?

... I won't let you kill Riku, alright? That's something I can do. [There's heavy weight to his words - he knows very well what he's promising her] And he won't be alone in that fight, if it comes to that.

I'm sorry!

[ but she wraps her arms around him in turn. she's unspeakably grateful for his presence, and she'd express it if only she weren't crying.

but his promise makes her look up, startled, tears making her blue eyes overbright. the weight to his words, the feeling of assurance, makes her face scrunch up all over again, but this time it's for a different reason.

gratefulness.

she can't keep looking at him, not like this, so she ducks her head back down. still, she manages to choke out a very watery "thank you" before she buries her head in his chest again. she's trying very very hard not to cry anymore. it's sort of working. a little bit. ]

Edited 2010-06-06 07:04 (UTC)

[She can cry as long as she needs - Sanji doesn't mind, a hand running up and down her back. And figures she'll be needing a lot of hugs from here on out.

He's sorry, that he can't save you like he wants. All he can do is this, and hope that for now it can be enough.]

[ It takes a few minutes -- two or three -- but eventually her tears slow, the jerking in her shoulders stopping. Finally, slowly, she pulls back, rubbing at her eyes and smiling ruefully. her apology - a quiet "sorry" - comes out as a whisper, but after her voice gains strength. ]

Thank you, Sanji. I'm not sure what I'd do without you here.

Not at all. [grins at her, and resists the urge to ruffle her hair.] My shoulder's always available to you.

And I know Xion-chan would still make it. [said rather firmly, though fondly] But since I am around, might as well make myself useful.

I seem to make use of it a lot! [ very sheepish, quiet laugh ]

.... [ her eyebrows draw up and she smiles sadly. she's not so sure about that, but, well, if he insists. ] I just mean that I'm grateful, is all. I'm glad you're my friend, Sanji.

The feeling's always mutual, Xion-chan.

Feeling better now?

... a little. I'm still scared, but ... at least I won't be facing it alone. All I know is that after this is all over ... I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it never, ever happens again.

[sticks his hands in his pockets, assessing her]

Good.

And if you ever need any help, you know where to find me.

oo13 [ voice // action ]

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