fourteen | oo13 [ voice // action ]

[ Without any warning, a short, sharp shriek of fear is going to be transmitted across the journals. It's followed by dead silence, and a few whispered words too quiet to be picked up on.

A moment goes by in silence, wherein Xion notices both the room's other [Bad username or site: perplex_me title= @ livejournal.com] and her journal at the foot of her bed. Her voice is shaky when the journal picks it up next, and she's both addressing anyone who heard as well as Roxas. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -- it's -- I'm okay.

What's...

[ She could have sworn she saw him, just as she awoke. Right out of the corner of her eye, like some monster from her nightmares. It would be impossible to mistake that blue hair, those impossibly cold eyes... but there was no one there. Not to mention her dreams of the past few days haven't exactly been nightmares, so much as... ]

--Sora! Sora! Where is he?! [ very upset Poppet is very upset and isn't sure if she's really yelling this at Roxas, or at the whole universe. ] SORA!

(ooc; her voice replies will come a little bit after this entry is actually made; her thread with Roxas will chronologically come first. tags might be a little slow because there is a cat sleeping on my arms.)

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[ his "we" reassures her. honestly it does. but then he asks that question and now her eyes are brimming with tears, though she's not crying. yet. her voice comes out very tight. ]

He knows. He's just -- not very good at fighting, I mean, he's working on it, but he hasn't-- and I think he might want to ... to be the one that does it, but Sanji, I couldn't, I just couldn't let him-- what if I killed him? I...

[ Xion buries her face in her hands, tries not to cry, and fails. ]

[Shit, you poor thing. Sanji has seen too many ladies in tears lately and the sight always breaks his heart.]

Oi, oi. [His voice is soft, soothing, when he embraces her in a tight hug] What did I just tell you?

... I won't let you kill Riku, alright? That's something I can do. [There's heavy weight to his words - he knows very well what he's promising her] And he won't be alone in that fight, if it comes to that.

I'm sorry!

[ but she wraps her arms around him in turn. she's unspeakably grateful for his presence, and she'd express it if only she weren't crying.

but his promise makes her look up, startled, tears making her blue eyes overbright. the weight to his words, the feeling of assurance, makes her face scrunch up all over again, but this time it's for a different reason.

gratefulness.

she can't keep looking at him, not like this, so she ducks her head back down. still, she manages to choke out a very watery "thank you" before she buries her head in his chest again. she's trying very very hard not to cry anymore. it's sort of working. a little bit. ]

Edited 2010-06-06 07:04 (UTC)

[She can cry as long as she needs - Sanji doesn't mind, a hand running up and down her back. And figures she'll be needing a lot of hugs from here on out.

He's sorry, that he can't save you like he wants. All he can do is this, and hope that for now it can be enough.]

[ It takes a few minutes -- two or three -- but eventually her tears slow, the jerking in her shoulders stopping. Finally, slowly, she pulls back, rubbing at her eyes and smiling ruefully. her apology - a quiet "sorry" - comes out as a whisper, but after her voice gains strength. ]

Thank you, Sanji. I'm not sure what I'd do without you here.

Not at all. [grins at her, and resists the urge to ruffle her hair.] My shoulder's always available to you.

And I know Xion-chan would still make it. [said rather firmly, though fondly] But since I am around, might as well make myself useful.

I seem to make use of it a lot! [ very sheepish, quiet laugh ]

.... [ her eyebrows draw up and she smiles sadly. she's not so sure about that, but, well, if he insists. ] I just mean that I'm grateful, is all. I'm glad you're my friend, Sanji.

The feeling's always mutual, Xion-chan.

Feeling better now?

... a little. I'm still scared, but ... at least I won't be facing it alone. All I know is that after this is all over ... I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it never, ever happens again.

[sticks his hands in his pockets, assessing her]

Good.

And if you ever need any help, you know where to find me.

... all I really need is to learn how to be brave. [ but she says this quietly, almost not to him, though it's loud enough to be heard. ]

... And what's not brave about what you're doing now?

... I'm just doing what I have to do. That's not bravery... I always try to run from my problems. I ran from the Organization when I was back home, and here I've run away twice... just because I was too scared to face what was happening.

Edited 2010-06-07 03:47 (UTC)

Doing what you need to do doesn't make it any less brave. You could've hid in the mountains for weeks, not saying shit to anyone if you wanted to.

If you were too afraid before... you're not letting that fear control you right now. And that is bravery.

[ Xion just pauses, staring at him and blinking. Despite his words, she's still thinking of her days in the Organization, when she ran off with Riku and actively avoided Axel and Roxas for so long...

... but she sighs and nods, accepting his explanation without really believing it. Sorry, Sanji. She hasn't got much self-esteem to speak of. ]

If you say so.

[He's good friends with a guy who doesn't have a lot of self-esteem either; Xion's reaction is hardly surprising as a result.

He smiles at her anyway]

One day you might actually believe me.

[ c-caught! she blinks at him in surprise, then looks a little guilty, but she should have known she couldn't get that past Sanji. she briefly takes one of his hands and gives it a squeeze. ]

Maybe. I sure hope so.

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