oo40 [ written/voice ] (backdated to May 20th!)

[fourteen]

( Private | Locked 100% )

It's still hard to believe so much has happened recently. It feels like things haven't stopped since that experiment. That's just Luceti, though. Things are always like this. But I'm still not sure what I want to do. Or what I should do.

It's raining today. There's something really peaceful about it. I wish I could go outside.

[ There's a pause, after that, where she just looks out the window at the driving rain and sets down her pen. Coming home soaked probably wouldn't be the best idea... and she couldn't bring her journal out there. And she has things she wants to address, today... a lot of things have been on her mind. So, with a sigh, she'll set up a few filters, switching to voice as she does so. First things first... ]

( Ginko | Locked 100% )

I wanted to-- [ a beat. ] ... I wanted to talk to you, but ... just to apologize. I feel like I owe you that.

( Chouji and Miyabi | Locked 50% )

... hey, guys. [ There's a weak smile in her voice. ] I just ... wanted to see how you were. Especially you, Chouji. I haven't seen you at all since... since then. [ They both know when. ]

[ There's another pause, after this. A pause where she sets her journal down, and gently pulls up over her head the chain she wears around her neck. For a quiet moment, she contemplates the pretty ring dangling from it -- with its blue stone, and its volumes of meaning. She thinks of Sanji's words.

Gently she lowers it into one hand, letting the chain pool in her palm, then picks the journal back up to address the populace at large. ]

( Open To All )

... what does the word "forever" mean to you? ... and I'm not talking about the dictionary definition. [ With faint humor.

A long while will pass before she comes back to add on to this already long entry. A few hours, at least.

But it would be impossible to pretend that what happened to her just a few days before isn't still on her mind. She just broke ... the Malnosso broke her. And Vanitas -- of all people, Vanitas! -- made it clear what exactly was wrong, and ... it still bothers her. More than she can say. She'd made so much progress to establishing her own humanity, her own ... rights as a person. Her own identity, as just (and only) Xion. But between the experiment and what the Malnosso did ... she can't help but feel all over again like she's this little worthless thing. Just some Replica. What good is a broken puppet to anyone?

Is this really what it means to be a Replica? To be reduced to breaking? Like some cheaply made toy? ... she wonders, sometimes -- a lot of the time -- about the others out there. There are a few she knows, of course. Luke and Kohan come immediately to mind. But ... maybe they aren't all. What would it mean if ... there were more Replicas in Luceti? How many could there be?

The reason for the long delay in voicing this question is that, well ... she has to work up the nerve. It takes some time. But, finally: ]

( Replicas (?) | Locked 100% )

... I hope I made this filter right. Only ... only replicas, or clones, should be able to see this. I wanted to know ... how many of us were out there.

[ "Us." She keeps her voice admirably steady, considering how terrifying this is to voice. But maybe ... just maybe, something good will come of it. ]

(ooc; Hideous, long post is hideous and long. Regarding the last filter! I'll leave it up to mun discretion if your character will fit under the filter. Obviously those termed Replicas or clones in canon will be able to see it, but for those of you who otherwise aren't sure, feel free to ping me on AIM at spark memories or just shoot me a PM. ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE THREADJACKING IN THE REPLICAS FILTER BECAUSE WHY NOT. GO NUTS.

Also: will be working on my outstanding threads, I promise. >>! I just needed to get this up. also again, THIS IS BACKDATED SO HARD.)

Comments

filtered

[one-green-eye.livejournal.com]

... Xion-- why would you want to apologize?

filtered

[fourteen]

... it's just that ... I didn't have any right to say anything to you about Sanji. I just ... none of it was any of my business.

[ ... can you tell she talked to Sanji yesterday, maybe. ]

voice

[risingwinds.livejournal.com]

Forever, huh?

[That's a good question, Xion. Give Ven a minute to think this over.]

Well, I like to think it means... forever. Something that'll never go away, even if you can't see it or feel it.

voice 1/2

[fourteen]

[ ... Ven. ]

[Voice]

[consultmybooks]

"Forever"...

...I'm not sure I've ever thought of it, beyond the dictionary definition.

[Voice]

[fourteen]

I guess that's why I'm asking. I wondered if it meant different things to different people, maybe ... if that was possible. I mean ... "forever" can't really exist in a place like Luceti, right?

replicaaaaaa filter

[catus_carnival]

...What's a 'replica'? Is it yummy?

[Even though she's one, of course she has no idea what one is. Or what being able to see that filter even means.]

replicaaaaaa filter 1/2

[fourteen]

[ ............... wait, what?

This .... er .... creature? .... is able to respond to the filter, but doesn't know what Replicas even are?

... oh dear. ]

[Voice]

[meteorical]

Always the heavy questions, huh?

Forever...it's permanent, you know? Even as everything around you shifts and changes and turns the world upside down, the things that are forever never change. Forever things and forever people? They're reliable because they're constant.

I don't know if that makes sense, but...that's just what I think.

[Voice]

[fourteen]

Sorry! I was just thinking about it...

[ She pauses, of course, while Kairi talks. .... "forever people," huh? ]

Do you think people we've met here can be "forever people"?

[Voice]

[fabrecation]

Forever, huh...

[What does it say about him when the reason for that "forever" question flies over his head. Instead, he... seriously thinks about that. Sure, when he was just a little younger, he had a very limited view of such things. Now that he's seen people die and knows that people close to him will, too...]

It's as long as anyone can think of. I've never really thought about it...

[And the next part... makes him stay silent for a good while. Xion was really brave to put up that filter... Could he do the same thing? Speak up, let every other replica out there know what he is?

At first it's really tempting to not answer it. It'd make him a coward, but he knows he's one already... Yet wouldn't it be nice, to know other people who are like him? Like them? And to let them know that he's here, too? So...]

[Replica Filter]

I'm here.

[Voice]

[fourteen]

[ ...................................... WELL this is awkward, why didn't she think to filter that part from him. Oh god. A whole lot of conflicting feelings twist in her stomach when she hears his voice, and she has to take a deep breath to keep herself from reacting too strongly.

"I thought it meant forever." ]

I ... I guess I was just wondering if it might mean something different to different people. I wasn't really sure.... [ she trails off. this excuse is LAME. please don't see through it please don't see through it...

Of course, then he goes on, and comments under the filter. and .... that actually gets a small smile out of her, and a very quiet: ]

[Replica Filter]

... thanks.

voice

[soracles.livejournal.com]

[deep question, but Sora's answer is straightforward.]

Feelings... memories, friendships. Those're always forever.

voice

[fourteen]

... even if you forget them, right?

[ She says it without bitterness. It's more ... almost wistful. With a tiny, sad smile. ]

They're always there. That's what I'd like to believe.

[Voice | Filtered]

[chiisaichou.livejournal.com]

[Ah, there's another one. Another piece of awkward to fish through from that experiment. Miyabi can't say she's surprised. Oh, no. Her "family" from before was large, after all. But she doesn't feel half as bad as she did the first few days afterward. She has nothing but good memories from the experiment, so...]

Ah...I'm doing well. How are you, Xion? [You don't sound very happy.] Are you all right?

[Voice | Filtered]

[fourteen]

Miyabi. [ Actually, she smiles, warming instantly. It's not by a lot -- her smile is still quiet, subdued -- but it's a noticeable change. Hey, little sister. ] It's really nice to hear from you.

And I'm okay. Really. I've just had a lot on my mind, but ... I think a lot of us have. But-- [ Here she actually does perk up a little. ] I saw Amaterasu!

[replica filter/lalala messy penmanship~]

[personafalsify.livejournal.com]

[ Staring at the other responses, but he doesn't respond to any of them. Not yet. Not the social butterfly here. ]

There are more like us?

[replica filter/with 10% more voice]

[fourteen]

[ Quietly ]

... yeah. I mean ... I don't know how many, but ... there are.

[Voice] //Filtered

[distressedude]

Us...?

[When Ion opened his journal to see what had been going on since his last kidnapping returned him to the village as a newborn replica, this certainly wasn't what he expected to find. The subject had been on his mind, certainly, but... it seemed a rather strange coincidence. It takes a moment for him to place her voice, having only spoken with Xion once before aside from what he knew of her during that last experiment as someone engaged to Luke.]

[He hesitates only another moment before speaking again.]

Would that mean you are a replica as well?

[Voice] //Filtered

[fourteen]

[ ... this is -- this is hard. Even if she knows it's a fellow Replica, it's ... it's ...

...

Softly, very softly ]

Yeah.

text

[harthad.livejournal.com]

Forever once had a certain meaning to me. There was something to forever that I could rest myself in comfortably, despite some childish and queer wants that talks with adventuring folk had planted in me. Events have come and gone and continue that have changed that, though. The forever I once understood has left the grasp of my hand. What I understood to be forever for me is gone and I fear there remain no more forevers ahead of me. I suppose that is what I have come to understand.

text

[fourteen]

[ She reads this, quietly, marveling silently at the slightly odd phrasing of the words. What sort of world is this person from?

Even if there's no tone to the words, nothing to grant them real inflection ... they're very sad, somehow. There's quite a pause before she writes back. ]

Do you think you could ever create a new forever? [ Initially there is no embellishment, but she goes back and underlines the word after a moment. ]

[Voice]

[no-use-running.livejournal.com]

Forever. [It's how long she's lived, in a sense she doesn't fully understand. It's how long she - but not her, only Sailor Mercury that is her - will live into the future, in one incarnation or another.]

It's fate. Something like that. [These are not words normally equated like that, perhaps. Sailor Mercury is in the picture window.]

[Voice]

[fourteen]

... fate?

[ ............ okay you look ... familiar yet different. Are you who I think you are. ... Xion pauses, then peers a little closer. ]

(ooc; aaaa please tell me if that's okay, I'm not sure if SM is supposed to look/sound really different versus Ami >>)

[Voice]

[alwaysserious.livejournal.com]

[Sorry, have a logical answer.]

Forever?

Even without using the definition, it depends on how it's being used.

[Voice]

[fourteen]

That's sort of why I'm asking! I thought people might have different definitions for it... and if, maybe, they might think of it differently here versus, you know, back home. [ She successfully suppresses a wince on that. Forever in Luceti versus forever in one's own world... it must be different. It necessarily has to be... right? There is no forever in Luceti. ]

[REPLICAAAA filter] Fowarddated to, uh... 5/25.

[bullet-dance.livejournal.com]

[Okay, so it's been a week since the incident involving a wild Cactuar with swords sticking out of it giving her a pretty nasty blow to the head, but she is finally now beginning to feel better, so what better way to spend her day then to check the journal? When she notices that there's a filtered message to her, Noel wasn't quite expecting this. In fact, it takes her by surprise. There's a stunned silence--she doesn't know the word 'replica' (though she already has an idea), but Xion is... a clone? What?

No, not only that... how could anyone have such a filter? How were they able to...

She doesn't even bother to check the responses at first. All she can do is stare at the message for several moments as more of these questions cloud her mind (and inconsequentially make that headache even worse); as she begins to get a terrible gut feeling. Probably stupid of her at this point, but a word somehow manages escapes her:]

... What?

[REPLICAAAA filter] 5/25 aw yeah

[fourteen]

[ Even days later Xion still comes back to check this, and sometimes play some of the conversations again, because ... it was really pretty overwhelming. IS still overwhelming, that she managed to admit this to such a large audience. (Large, in this instance, meaning >2.)

But it's still a surprise when she sees -- hears, rather -- Noel's reply. It shocks her, honestly. Because ... she'd never have guessed. Her mouth actually drops open for a moment before she gathers her wits ]

... Noel?

[Voice] sob forgive my slow because con

[knightofratatosk]

Forever?

... I don't know. I haven't really thought about it that much, but I guess it means something that doesn't have an end.

[Voice] s'okay |D

[fourteen]

... that's a pretty straightforward definition. [ a small smile. ] Not that that's a bad thing.

[replica filter, written]

[antlioncyclone.livejournal.com]

[...huh.]

There are a lot.

This is a very good filter.

[replica filter, written]

[fourteen]

Thanks, Mewtwo. There are more than I was expecting. It's still a little

[ a pause. ]

strange.

[written]

[minimonsterdad.livejournal.com]

The only people who can truly understand the meaning of "forever" are those who have found no meaning in it.

[written]

[fourteen]

[ ............ okay, she ... doesn't really get that at all. ]

I don't understand.

[Video]

[sea-king-bait.livejournal.com]

Forever is... um, well, forever! It'll never go away, even if you want it to.

[Video]

[fourteen]

... why would you want it to? [ honest question. A bad "forever"? ]

[Voice//Private - about 98.5% unhackable]

[awakenedchaos]

[Initially, it's just the unfiltered question that catches ν-13's attention. For a moment, she actually contemplates answering...

...but then she notices a certain filtered message and pauses. The word "replica" is unfamiliar to her, but the other she recognizes. A clone - a cell, cell product or organism genetically identical to the unit or individual it was derived from. A duplicate of something, so to speak.

But then... why can she see this? She's not something like that.

...is she?

...

Maybe it's simply an error. It's not impossible that such a filter might not be entirely accurate, is it? ...Yes, that has to be it. Right?

...Still, for some reason, she feels the need to respond. Not under such a general filter, though; rather, she'll filter her message directly to Xion, though her filter isn't quite up to her usual standards. This is distracting her a little.]

Replicas...? [...Okay, so the lack of a definition for that word in her database is bothering her a little, too. Inquiring about that should be fine, shouldn't it...?]

[Voice//Private - 100% unhackable]

[fourteen]

[ Xion considers this filter for a long, long moment. ... there must be a reason this girl wanted it private, rather than responding under the filter itself. So she'll respect her wishes -- and completely lock this conversation.

After that, she pauses, searching for an explanation that will work. ]

... I'm not sure how different they are across different worlds. Replicas are ... we're copies of other people. [ Uncomfortable, but she gets the word out. Nnngh. ]

[Voice]

[redhairedknight.livejournal.com]

...I'd think that "forever" would mean it's permanent - something that won't go away, no matter how many people try to remove it.

[Voice]

[fourteen]

... try to remove it, huh...

[ A thoughtful pause. ]

I'd think so too, but ... wouldn't that mean nothing in Luceti can be "forever"?

[Voice]

[markofthewise]

That's kind of a melodramatic question, isn't it?

[Voice] 1/2

[fourteen]

[ ... ]

[Voice]

[ledbythewind]

... I suppose that would all depend on whether or not you believe "forever" exists in the first place.

[Voice]

[fourteen]

I do.

[ She says that rather quickly. But how she believes in it ... well, that's different. ]

... do you?

[ in that filter ] I am late in ways that defy morality.

[savethelastchip.livejournal.com]

[ ...well, he has been meaning to talk to her. It was just a matter of being afraid of upsetting people, or them not wanting to talk to him, and the fact that he's always been very good at coming to freezing standstills when it comes to canon character development emotional situations.

And he feels kind of guilty for not actually asking after her sooner. ]

Aa- sorry about that.

[ in that filter ] |D it's okay, I still love you.

[fourteen]

It's okay. Things have been kind of busy since then.

How are you, Chouji?

[godbent]

[...Okay a member of her Brigade and her new teacher is asking some random question.]

You think about that stuff?

[fourteen]

... you don't?