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oo40 [ written/voice ] (backdated to May 20th!)
( Private | Locked 100% )
It's still hard to believe so much has happened recently. It feels like things haven't stopped since that experiment. That's just Luceti, though. Things are always like this. But I'm still not sure what I want to do. Or what I should do.
It's raining today. There's something really peaceful about it. I wish I could go outside.
[ There's a pause, after that, where she just looks out the window at the driving rain and sets down her pen. Coming home soaked probably wouldn't be the best idea... and she couldn't bring her journal out there. And she has things she wants to address, today... a lot of things have been on her mind. So, with a sigh, she'll set up a few filters, switching to voice as she does so. First things first... ]
( Ginko | Locked 100% )
I wanted to-- [ a beat. ] ... I wanted to talk to you, but ... just to apologize. I feel like I owe you that.
( Chouji and Miyabi | Locked 50% )
... hey, guys. [ There's a weak smile in her voice. ] I just ... wanted to see how you were. Especially you, Chouji. I haven't seen you at all since... since then. [ They both know when. ]
[ There's another pause, after this. A pause where she sets her journal down, and gently pulls up over her head the chain she wears around her neck. For a quiet moment, she contemplates the pretty ring dangling from it -- with its blue stone, and its volumes of meaning. She thinks of Sanji's words.
Gently she lowers it into one hand, letting the chain pool in her palm, then picks the journal back up to address the populace at large. ]
( Open To All )
... what does the word "forever" mean to you? ... and I'm not talking about the dictionary definition. [ With faint humor.
A long while will pass before she comes back to add on to this already long entry. A few hours, at least.
But it would be impossible to pretend that what happened to her just a few days before isn't still on her mind. She just broke ... the Malnosso broke her. And Vanitas -- of all people, Vanitas! -- made it clear what exactly was wrong, and ... it still bothers her. More than she can say. She'd made so much progress to establishing her own humanity, her own ... rights as a person. Her own identity, as just (and only) Xion. But between the experiment and what the Malnosso did ... she can't help but feel all over again like she's this little worthless thing. Just some Replica. What good is a broken puppet to anyone?
Is this really what it means to be a Replica? To be reduced to breaking? Like some cheaply made toy? ... she wonders, sometimes -- a lot of the time -- about the others out there. There are a few she knows, of course. Luke and Kohan come immediately to mind. But ... maybe they aren't all. What would it mean if ... there were more Replicas in Luceti? How many could there be?
The reason for the long delay in voicing this question is that, well ... she has to work up the nerve. It takes some time. But, finally: ]
( Replicas (?) | Locked 100% )
... I hope I made this filter right. Only ... only replicas, or clones, should be able to see this. I wanted to know ... how many of us were out there.
[ "Us." She keeps her voice admirably steady, considering how terrifying this is to voice. But maybe ... just maybe, something good will come of it. ]
(ooc; Hideous, long post is hideous and long. Regarding the last filter! I'll leave it up to mun discretion if your character will fit under the filter. Obviously those termed Replicas or clones in canon will be able to see it, but for those of you who otherwise aren't sure, feel free to ping me on AIM at spark memories or just shoot me a PM. ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE THREADJACKING IN THE REPLICAS FILTER BECAUSE WHY NOT. GO NUTS.
Also: will be working on my outstanding threads, I promise. >>! I just needed to get this up. also again, THIS IS BACKDATED SO HARD.)
It's still hard to believe so much has happened recently. It feels like things haven't stopped since that experiment. That's just Luceti, though. Things are always like this. But I'm still not sure what I want to do. Or what I should do.
It's raining today. There's something really peaceful about it. I wish I could go outside.
[ There's a pause, after that, where she just looks out the window at the driving rain and sets down her pen. Coming home soaked probably wouldn't be the best idea... and she couldn't bring her journal out there. And she has things she wants to address, today... a lot of things have been on her mind. So, with a sigh, she'll set up a few filters, switching to voice as she does so. First things first... ]
( Ginko | Locked 100% )
I wanted to-- [ a beat. ] ... I wanted to talk to you, but ... just to apologize. I feel like I owe you that.
( Chouji and Miyabi | Locked 50% )
... hey, guys. [ There's a weak smile in her voice. ] I just ... wanted to see how you were. Especially you, Chouji. I haven't seen you at all since... since then. [ They both know when. ]
[ There's another pause, after this. A pause where she sets her journal down, and gently pulls up over her head the chain she wears around her neck. For a quiet moment, she contemplates the pretty ring dangling from it -- with its blue stone, and its volumes of meaning. She thinks of Sanji's words.
Gently she lowers it into one hand, letting the chain pool in her palm, then picks the journal back up to address the populace at large. ]
( Open To All )
... what does the word "forever" mean to you? ... and I'm not talking about the dictionary definition. [ With faint humor.
A long while will pass before she comes back to add on to this already long entry. A few hours, at least.
But it would be impossible to pretend that what happened to her just a few days before isn't still on her mind. She just broke ... the Malnosso broke her. And Vanitas -- of all people, Vanitas! -- made it clear what exactly was wrong, and ... it still bothers her. More than she can say. She'd made so much progress to establishing her own humanity, her own ... rights as a person. Her own identity, as just (and only) Xion. But between the experiment and what the Malnosso did ... she can't help but feel all over again like she's this little worthless thing. Just some Replica. What good is a broken puppet to anyone?
Is this really what it means to be a Replica? To be reduced to breaking? Like some cheaply made toy? ... she wonders, sometimes -- a lot of the time -- about the others out there. There are a few she knows, of course. Luke and Kohan come immediately to mind. But ... maybe they aren't all. What would it mean if ... there were more Replicas in Luceti? How many could there be?
The reason for the long delay in voicing this question is that, well ... she has to work up the nerve. It takes some time. But, finally: ]
( Replicas (?) | Locked 100% )
... I hope I made this filter right. Only ... only replicas, or clones, should be able to see this. I wanted to know ... how many of us were out there.
[ "Us." She keeps her voice admirably steady, considering how terrifying this is to voice. But maybe ... just maybe, something good will come of it. ]
(ooc; Hideous, long post is hideous and long. Regarding the last filter! I'll leave it up to mun discretion if your character will fit under the filter. Obviously those termed Replicas or clones in canon will be able to see it, but for those of you who otherwise aren't sure, feel free to ping me on AIM at spark memories or just shoot me a PM. ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO ENCOURAGE THREADJACKING IN THE REPLICAS FILTER BECAUSE WHY NOT. GO NUTS.
Also: will be working on my outstanding threads, I promise. >>! I just needed to get this up. also again, THIS IS BACKDATED SO HARD.)