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oo33 [ voice ]
[ Xion's always had this thing for dreaming. Although, back home, it was memories... memories and meanings she couldn't understand. Dreams of the ocean and the sound of waves, dreams of a boy in red...
Her dreams are so often memories. After all, what is she but memories? Just a doll, made to live off of the memories of a boy like some kind of parasite. But now she has memories all her own... so many of them. And she dreams about those, too.
They aren't always good dreams. Sometimes they are dark and full of blood.
It's a shame she fell asleep with her journal on the covers -- because when she wakes up, shooting up into a sitting position with a shout, the journal of course falls open and records her cry.
Nothing can be seen -- after all, the room is dark. But the sound of her panting breaths come through -- the only sound, for a moment, until she gathers herself enough to sigh. ]
Come on, Xion, get it together.
[ And she'd been having an easier time getting to sleep, too, after all the help everyone had given her...
Somewhat reflexively, she'll scoop up her journal as she gets out of bed, temporarily cutting off the feed. However, it's only a few moments later that the journal is reopened -- still in darkness, only barely leavened by the moonlight drifting in through the window. However, there is a new sound.
Xion is ... singing.
Bits and pieces, at a slower tempo, of a song that someone once played for her. Of course, there are no words, but her voice is actually ... kind of sweet, and soft, floating and tumbling between the notes. It goes like this for a few quiet moments, with some other soft sounds in the background as she gets some water.
And when she turns around, she will realize the journal did not stay upright where she set it, and fell open. Again. Of course. SIGH. Oh well. She'll move over to the table and sit, lightly tapping on the page that's been recording her. ]
... is anyone even awake at this hour? And I guess... well, if you heard me ... what's your favorite song?
(ooc; actually, pretty tired! gonna hit the hay. tags tomorrow! oh, and I'd imagine this whole thing went down... somewhere around 4 AM. ps her voice, with bonus ironic lyrics.)
Her dreams are so often memories. After all, what is she but memories? Just a doll, made to live off of the memories of a boy like some kind of parasite. But now she has memories all her own... so many of them. And she dreams about those, too.
They aren't always good dreams. Sometimes they are dark and full of blood.
It's a shame she fell asleep with her journal on the covers -- because when she wakes up, shooting up into a sitting position with a shout, the journal of course falls open and records her cry.
Nothing can be seen -- after all, the room is dark. But the sound of her panting breaths come through -- the only sound, for a moment, until she gathers herself enough to sigh. ]
Come on, Xion, get it together.
[ And she'd been having an easier time getting to sleep, too, after all the help everyone had given her...
Somewhat reflexively, she'll scoop up her journal as she gets out of bed, temporarily cutting off the feed. However, it's only a few moments later that the journal is reopened -- still in darkness, only barely leavened by the moonlight drifting in through the window. However, there is a new sound.
Xion is ... singing.
Bits and pieces, at a slower tempo, of a song that someone once played for her. Of course, there are no words, but her voice is actually ... kind of sweet, and soft, floating and tumbling between the notes. It goes like this for a few quiet moments, with some other soft sounds in the background as she gets some water.
And when she turns around, she will realize the journal did not stay upright where she set it, and fell open. Again. Of course. SIGH. Oh well. She'll move over to the table and sit, lightly tapping on the page that's been recording her. ]
... is anyone even awake at this hour? And I guess... well, if you heard me ... what's your favorite song?
(ooc; actually, pretty tired! gonna hit the hay. tags tomorrow! oh, and I'd imagine this whole thing went down... somewhere around 4 AM. ps her voice, with bonus ironic lyrics.)
[Voice]
[ she hums sleepily. then something occurs to her ... that wakes her up a little. ]
You know, I've been meaning to tell you... I spoke to Asch.
[Voice]
You... You did?
[Filtered]
He guessed what I am. So ... I told him the truth. [ another thoughtful pause, shorter. ] He's kind of... [ here, perhaps unbelievably, she smiles. ] ... I don't think he's all that bad. But he can be pretty mean. Is his temper... always that bad? [ okay, says that with legit humor. it's clear she found Asch kind of, er, funny. ]
[Filtered]
And he's not all that bad? What? How did she-
No. Don't be jealous of Xion, Luke. Still, he slowly looks ahead of him again while pursing his lips and frowning a little.]
... Yeah.
[Filtered]
she hears the tone in his voice, and is immediately put off by it. ... did she do something wrong? should she not have spoken to him? she'd thought ... sort of, in the back of her mind ... that it'd be good to get to know Luke's original, even just a little. and get along with him... (as well as anyone could get along with Asch the Bloody.)
but a reaction like this... isn't exactly what she was expecting. then again... what had Asch called Luke? "defective," "that dreck" ...
she winces, thinking how she'd feel if her real thing said things like that about her. she'd be ... bitter.
realizing she's been silent for an extended period, Xion finally pipes up again, much subdued. ]
... sorry.
[Filtered]
[Is the automatic response as Luke makes his tone a little lighter. After all, he shouldn't feel like this; Asch might have a thing against replicas, but he hates Luke most of all. He knows that. It's... only natural that he might be a little more neutral towards other replicas and still call him a dreck, a defect, a worthless excuse for a replica...
He rubs his forehead - get a hold of yourself, are you really saying that you'd want Asch to be just as bad to her, think man - and speaks again, and he definitely sounds a little better now.]
... Really. It's okay. Asch and I just... We don't really get along.
[Filtered]
uneasily she settles back down, looking at the journal and listening to his words with some trepidation.
still quite subdued ]
... I got an idea. He wasn't ... he'd say things about you that-- [ cuts herself off, with a slightly frustrated noise. it'd made her angry! the only thing that really had. ] But he wasn't cruel to me when he figured out I was a Replica. In fact, he just seemed kind of ... thoughtful. Though he did call me a stupid Replica at one point. [ doesn't sound too bothered by that. ] But I don't like the way he talks about you.
[Filtered]
[He pauses thoughtfully, thinking back to a conversation he and Asch had...]
But a while ago, he told me to correct him every time he called me "replica". To call me "Luke" instead... I've been doing that ever since. It might not seem like that big of a step, but for us... it really was.
[And the experiment probably ruined it all.]
[Filtered]
it's hard to see that as anything other than kind of ... sad. terribly sad. she loves Sora. what on earth would she do if he hated her? if things were so bad that he always called her Replica, and it was an accomplishment when he told her to start correcting him?
in a way, Asch's behavior reminds her of Saix. their attitudes, at least, were the same. ]
... you know, he asked me at one point if I'd ever asked my original what it meant to have a Replica. When I told him Sora was okay with it, he seemed ... confused. Like he couldn't understand... but he went all quiet when I told him what my existence had been doing to Roxas. [ did she tell you that part, Luke? it's just as sick and tragic as all the rest. ]
I'm still not sure what to make of any of it. He doesn't seem like a bad person, just ... angry. Really angry...
[Filtered]
Luke keeps his head in his arms, letting his eyes peek over and stare down at the floor as he speaks up quietly.]
... I don't blame him. My existence took everything away from him.
[Filtered]
[ "did they know? did they lose anything?" ... suddenly those questions make more sense. ]
[Filtered]
[Or if he did, Luke never knew about it. He's silent for a few seconds as he takes in a deep breath to get past that pain in his chest, then goes on:]
I didn't even realize until seven years later... when he told me who we were. What I am. I took his name, his home, his family, his life... I wasn't just supposed to take his place to die, I...
[Filtered]
[ is that what it truly means ... to be a Replica? to utterly replace your original? then again, that was to be her fate... to replace Sora and Roxas both, and utterly destroy their lives, and the lives of so many others...
but she's not sure she wants him to finish that sentence. very softly, with a little fear ] ... you what?
[Filtered]
["You were born as a throwaway pawn, a substitute to overturn Yulia's Score. That is all."]
[Filtered]
she's very quiet for a moment. ]
You know ... once, I was sent on a mission to kill a giant Heartless. They didn't give me many details... it was just, "go to this world and take out this Heartless." That was pretty standard, though...
The fight was really long, and hard. Towards the end I knew if I didn't do something drastic, I was going to lose, so I was about to put my all into it... but before I could do that, Axel suddenly showed up and stopped me.
It turned out ... that I wasn't fighting a Heartless at all. I was fighting my best friend, Roxas. The Organization had set us up... so we'd fight each other.
At the time... I suspected, but I didn't really know for sure why they'd done it. But it was so obvious later... [ after they'd turned her into a beast. ] They wanted to get rid of one of us. Two people wielding the Keyblade was one too many... so they wanted one of us to destroy the other, so ... they'd get rid of the trash, I guess. [ her voice takes on a dark and bitter tone. she'd come to realize all too well everything Xemnas had meant to do -- and none of it had ever been meant to help any of them at all. ]
That's all we were to them. Toys. ... pawns, I guess. ... so I know what you mean. But ... [ she shakes her head. firmly. ] There's nothing wrong with failing that plan. Master Van... he sounds like Xemnas. I would have done anything to stop him.
[Filtered]
He can't imagine Xion going through that, either... To fight one of her best friends. How painful that must've been... Especially if Axel didn't make it.]
We did stop him. In the end... we fought him, and we won. [He smiles a little to himself - humorless, and almost sad.] He wondered how he could've been defeated by such a failure...
[Filtered]
[ her voice is a little tortured -- this is still hard for her to believe, even now. but she's had so long to think about it... ]
Xemnas ... he was cold, and cruel. Saix was just as bad. They only wanted to use everyone around them to get what they wanted, and it didn't matter who they hurt, or who they tossed aside...
I don't think... either of them ... ever knew what it was like to feel ... happy. Or ... or loved, or... to love. [ flushes a little at that, but goes on. ] ... and I think that's really sad. How empty would life be if you couldn't feel any of the good things? I think people like that... they never see the bigger picture. But we can. Even though we're just Replicas... we still know it better than they do. What's really important... [ it's something she clings to. a Replica, so deficient, weak, useless -- better at something? could it be true? she sounds maybe like she's trying to convince herself, too, of this secret hope she's held in her heart. ]
[Filtered]
Luke gives a long glance at the journal before he quickly brings his gaze back to the floor, a similar flush on his face, though it fades away as she keeps talking. And it's... sad, to think that Master Van had never felt happiness or love. Tear is his sister, and... and he thought that Master Van loved him, too, just as much as Tear. That's what he thought... Until Van tossed him aside like he would with a piece of trash. That's when the cold truth slowly revealed itself, even though Luke still wishes that maybe... maybe...
But Xion's right. Luke saw the value in a world full of the people who love it today, not with... replicas like himself. He's felt happiness, he's been loved... and maybe... Yes, he knew what was important. And Van died for his own beliefs, a belief in such a twisted world.]
Do you remember when I told you about the Score? How it talks about the future? Master Van... He wanted to get rid of that. He felt that the only way to do it was to destroy everyone and everything on the planet... and replace it all with replicas. Of the world, the monsters... the people. He was so obsessed with his plan that he used everyone - not just me, but Asch, too. And he got rid of anyone who got in his way. [The people of Sheridan...]
I think... Master Van thought that to feel happiness and love wasn't as important as his plan. But he was wrong. We're just replicas, but at least we can see how wrong it is. Who cares if I'm defective, or a dreck, or... At least we can see what's important. [And he sounds... confident about that.]
[Filtered]
It's the confidence in his voice that brings her around. He sounds much more sure than she feels, and ... it makes her feel a little better. ]
Yeah. And ... you're not a dreck. You're too special to... [ oh shoot did she just say that. UM.................... ] I-I mean... [ ... never mind, she's lost her train of thought. what were they talking about...?
so red. ]
[Filtered]
I-I'm not that special...
[Filtered]
[Filtered]
Just... wow. He didn't really expect that.]
... Thanks, Xion. I'm glad I can mean something to someone.
[... But this conversation is really embarrassing, so Luke will try to change the subject a little.]
Hey... I sang twice for you. Now you have to sing for me! Then we'd be even.
[Filtered]
--especially since he says that. they are definitely both glad, right now, that the darkness hides all the red in their faces, because Xion's as bad as Luke at the moment. ]
What? But ... I don't know what else to sing! I don't hear music, that much... [ maybe something else Brook's played for her? hm..... ]
[Filtered]
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if she's going to sing for him... really for him, not just overheard by accident... she's going to make it count. ]
Hang on a second. [ she'll slip the journal shut, and quietly go pull on her boots and winter jacket over her pajamas. then she'll slip outside, onto the landing before their front door. it's icy cold, but there's been a break in the snow, enough to let the moon shine through the clouds, and she looks up at it, her breath frosting in the air.
then she'll reopen her journal. ]
Okay ... here goes.
[ at first quietly, but then gaining strength, she'll begin to sing this song. as it's instrumental, she sings on oohs and ahs, mostly open vowels good for clarity. outside, she allows herself a little volume, and her voice is ... pure, and clear, and sweet.
of course, she's thinking of Luke the whole time... so she puts her whole heart and all the love she has for him into it. it makes her heart race... it's very, very nearly like telling him her feelings through music. but of course, without words... there's no way he'll figure it out. right?
and that's okay. she just wants to make him smile, more than anything. ]
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