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Entry tags:
- !voice,
- by awesome i mean awful,
- cheer up emo kid,
- death penalty removal,
- handles betrayal really poorly,
- hi guys,
- home again,
- hugs required,
- i'm better now really,
- my life is awesome,
- needs more happy,
- ow,
- question for the masses,
- she has a lot of feelings,
- story of her life,
- stupid luceti,
- stupid riku,
- thoughts,
- what's up luceti
oo32 [ voice ]
[ It's a very, very exhausted Xion who is now finally home safe and in bed after a long day. Being returned from a death penalty removal only to end up in a vicious fight with your once boyfriend can take a lot out of a girl.
She and Riku had healed her up as best they could, agreed to tell no one, and left it at that. It was the best they could do, to try and keep the peace. Peace they both desperately needed.
Though now she was home, and warm, Xion found she could not sleep. Her deeply aching arms did not help matters. They'd have to be looked at -- hopefully by someone who didn't know any of her friends...
With a sigh, she starts up a voice post. ]
Hey, guys. I'm back. [ weak smile. ] Sorry for taking off like that.
[ ... okay, this isn't working. she needs ... she doesn't know what she needs, but she doesn't want to be alone right now -- and it'd almost be too risky to go find someone else in the household. if she let slip the truth....
it has to be someone else. (and definitely not Sanji.) it doesn't take her long to decide who. ]
( Luke | Locked 100% )
... hey. How are you feeling? [ if you're still sick she is not gonna bother you 8|
after a beat, she'll add the following for the general population, because it will probably come up later in the night, knowing her luck. ]
( Filtered away from the KH cast | Locked 80% )
So... if you couldn't sleep, what would you do? To try and get to sleep, I mean. Though I guess I wouldn't mind knowing how you'd pass the time, too...
She and Riku had healed her up as best they could, agreed to tell no one, and left it at that. It was the best they could do, to try and keep the peace. Peace they both desperately needed.
Though now she was home, and warm, Xion found she could not sleep. Her deeply aching arms did not help matters. They'd have to be looked at -- hopefully by someone who didn't know any of her friends...
With a sigh, she starts up a voice post. ]
Hey, guys. I'm back. [ weak smile. ] Sorry for taking off like that.
[ ... okay, this isn't working. she needs ... she doesn't know what she needs, but she doesn't want to be alone right now -- and it'd almost be too risky to go find someone else in the household. if she let slip the truth....
it has to be someone else. (and definitely not Sanji.) it doesn't take her long to decide who. ]
( Luke | Locked 100% )
... hey. How are you feeling? [ if you're still sick she is not gonna bother you 8|
after a beat, she'll add the following for the general population, because it will probably come up later in the night, knowing her luck. ]
( Filtered away from the KH cast | Locked 80% )
So... if you couldn't sleep, what would you do? To try and get to sleep, I mean. Though I guess I wouldn't mind knowing how you'd pass the time, too...
[Action]
Your arms hurt, huh...
[Action]
Yeah... why?
[Action]
[He finally looks down at her - he doesn't look accusatory at all. Just questioning... Maybe just a little sad. He might not know what this implies, but he does know that it probably isn't good.]
[Action]
okay, xion. breathe. she shuts her eyes, trying to will away the pain ... and when that doesn't work, she looks back up at Luke anyway, all guilt. ]
... there's ... there's something I didn't tell you, Luke. I'm sorry, I just...
[Action]
Xion!
[She's trying, so Luke will give her the space to do it and stay near the couch. And when she speaks... he turns his head to look at the stairs instead of her.]
It's okay. [He's used to it. Too used to it.]
[Action]
Fine. You want to know where I was the last few days? [ her expression twists. this isn't the way to tell him, Xion, it's not--
but she hurts, Riku's an idiot, maybe if you'd lived a normal life-- ]
I went to get my death penalty removed. [ the look on her face is a wonder -- a mixture of defiance, guilt, and ... something empty. somehow ... empty. ]
[Action]
Luke looks down at her again, eyes wide and... maybe a bit scared. What did she say...? While Xion's voice may be challenging, his is very soft.]
Death penalty...?
[Action]
[ there's some bite to that, but it's the last thing she'll manage with any force. after that, she buries her face in her knees and tugs at her hair. her voice is much softer now when she speaks, but tinged on the outside with something ... almost like hysteria. ]
On July 11th I turned into a monster and I made my best friends kill me. Again.
[Action]
[She's died... twice? From turning into a monster, from making her friends kill her... Luke clenches his fists and keeps his eyes tightly shut, holding back that violent torrent of emotion, although a tiny sound might've escaped from him. Why her? Why did she have to go through something like that? Why does he keep making her bring up such painful things...
Just... Why her?
But he opens his eyes and sees the reason why he's holding back his emotion in the first place - Xion there, huddled in a ball and looking as if she'll panic and bolt any second. Luke increases the pressure behind his fists, just to get the last of it all out, before he forces them open and takes a few tentative steps to her and reaches out a hand to rest it on her shoulder, gently. He doesn't need to shout and throw a fit when Xion probably feels so much worse than he does... He's not the one who died. He's the one who kept going on about how he lived.]
[Action]
for once, it's her own memories clamoring in her mind, vying for dominance and a place to fit ... instead of Sora's. not that that makes her feel any better. in fact, it doesn't even occur to her.
stressed out, sick, weak, exhausted, hounded and haunted by memories, still in pain -- Xion can only hiccup when Luke puts a hand on her shoulder. and then, quietly, she starts to cry. ]
[Action]
This happened once, when Tear found out she might not survive opening all of the seals, but he had turned away to give her what she wanted - not having anyone see her like that. He still stayed there, but he gave her what she wanted.
What did Xion want? He didn't know, and at first, his hand lifts from her shoulder and hovers in the air for a second. What does he do? What...
All he really knows is that Xion has reached a breaking point, and he can't just turn away. Luke bites his lip as he lowers himself to the couch, one leg still hanging off of it, and reaches out to pull her against his shoulder, scooting forward a little so that she won't have to lean too much. And... what else... ah. After a second's thought, Luke reaches up to start stroking her hair, slowly; Guy had done this a few times when he was so stressed and haunted that he had to cry, and he even did it when Luke was dying in the draft. It always calmed him, even at that time...]
I'm sorry. But... everything's going to be okay now.
[Action]
and the contact, when Luke pulls her to him, is extremely welcome. she leans right into it, making a tight, tiny noise of relief. the hand on her hair surprises her -- for some reason, it makes her think of Sanji -- and it relaxes her right away. there's something about that .... someone petting your hair ... it's very soothing.
it doesn't take her long to stop crying, though she does spend a moment in his arms, quiet before speaking up again. ]
... sorry. I would have told you before but ... it just felt like telling you I died twice was a lot, when you were already sick... [ she leans back just enough to look at him, and give him a crooked, apologetic smile, eyes still overbright. ]
[Action]
He can't help smiling back, his own also crooked, as if he's not really sure if he should be smiling, and he keeps his hand in her hair.]
Yeah... I probably would've felt even worse if you said all that.
[Action]
Yeah, I thought so. [ after a beat, and somewhat more seriously ] ... you know everything now, though. No more secrets. At least, not big ones.
[Action]
Xion barely knows anything. About his past, about how he used to be, about Akzeriuth, about how terrible his powers can be... These are secrets that Luke keeps tightly locked away deep inside of him. The last thing he wants to do is tell someone either one of these and consider him too horrible to be around. Especially not Xion.
But now he knows everything about her, and a part of him screams to just let it go and tell her, to spill everything and actually talk, because he could never actually do that back at home without someone scolding him for it.
He moves his hands to take hers in his own and stares down at them. This... is something special he has with her. He doesn't want to lose it, he doesn't want to scare her away, he doesn't- but...
Luke takes in a breath and opens her mouth, looks her in the eye and-]
... G-Good. I mean, you... don't have to tell me everything if you don't want to; I know how important secrets can be.
[... Chickens out. He can't do it.]
[Action]
For a moment, all she does is search his face, expression thoughtful. She gets the sense, maybe, that there was something there, something he's ... not quite admitting.
But ... that's okay. How could she blame him? She had a hard enough time admitting her own secrets. She can hardly expect him to immediately divulge his own. ]
Well ... you know I'm a Replica, and you know I died, twice. I just don't have anything else to tell! Besides... I trust you, Luke. [ she says those words so easily. ]
[Action]
That... doesn't get said to Luke very often, nor does he ever expect it to. He's a little surprised, especially after it was so obvious that he's holding himself back...
He purses his lips and squeezes her hands. Might as well tell her this, with a sad smile:]
There are some things I need to tell you about me... But I don't think I can right now. Some day... I will. I promise.
[Action]
[ it's as easy as that. if she trusts him, she trusts him; and she trust him to keep his word. she takes one of his hands and does something ... he might remember: presses it to her cheek, and closes her eyes. ]
Okay. [ she smiles, full of warmth, and lowers his hand. ] There's no rush, you know. I ... I know how hard it can be. So ... I can wait.
[Action] 1/2
... Okay.
[Action] 2/2
And that reminds him.
... Uh oh. He widens his eyes and looks over at the stairs again, then leans forward to whisper to Xion, as if they're sharing some type of secret already.]
I kind of... promised Guy that I wouldn't leave until I was completely better. Do you think you can keep this a secret?
[Action]
blink blink.
in any other scenario, she might laugh, or tease him. but considering why she asked him to come get her ... instead, she just feels grateful, and shakes her head. ] Of course! If I'd known, I probably would've... [ eh heh. she would have gone to the house instead of asking him to come pick her up. ]
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
Until he sighs. Then reaches up to ruffle Xion's hair, because he knows he totally would've done the same thing, so he has no business saying she shouldn't.]
Good thing I forgot, then.
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]