fourteen | oo32 [ voice ]

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oo32 [ voice ]

[ It's a very, very exhausted Xion who is now finally home safe and in bed after a long day. Being returned from a death penalty removal only to end up in a vicious fight with your once boyfriend can take a lot out of a girl.

She and Riku had healed her up as best they could, agreed to tell no one, and left it at that. It was the best they could do, to try and keep the peace. Peace they both desperately needed.

Though now she was home, and warm, Xion found she could not sleep. Her deeply aching arms did not help matters. They'd have to be looked at -- hopefully by someone who didn't know any of her friends...

With a sigh, she starts up a voice post. ]

Hey, guys. I'm back. [ weak smile. ] Sorry for taking off like that.

[ ... okay, this isn't working. she needs ... she doesn't know what she needs, but she doesn't want to be alone right now -- and it'd almost be too risky to go find someone else in the household. if she let slip the truth....

it has to be someone else. (and definitely not Sanji.) it doesn't take her long to decide who. ]

( Luke | Locked 100% )

... hey. How are you feeling? [ if you're still sick she is not gonna bother you 8|

after a beat, she'll add the following for the general population, because it will probably come up later in the night, knowing her luck. ]

( Filtered away from the KH cast | Locked 80% )

So... if you couldn't sleep, what would you do? To try and get to sleep, I mean. Though I guess I wouldn't mind knowing how you'd pass the time, too...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ winces. it's instinctual -- she can't help but lean away from his anger a bit, even if it's not directed at her. softly ]

... I guess because I attacked him first. I don't know. All I care about is that it's over. At least we can finally stop fighting now... I just want to put it all behind us. I don't know how we could have both stayed in the house while still being so angry at each other...

[ yeah, ftr, it's even someone who lives with her. have fun braining that one, Luke. ]

[Her reaction doesn't quell his anger - after all, Luke is a fighter and an emotional person. When he's angry, not much can get in his way.

But her words, especially since they're spoken softly, manage to do that. Luke's fists slowly relax, and he leans his shoulders back as his expression calms. Wow... they were even living in the same house?

... There's a certain amount of awkward that comes from that statement, but it also puts things into perspective. Luke sits down on the couch beside her, hands between his knees as he hunches over to look down at the floor.]

... You two must've been angry at each other for a long time, huh? And being so close together probably didn't help at all.

... it all happened last summer ... so it has been a long time. [ Other Things that happened last summer going unmentioned. ] ... Riku ... he always wanted the Keyblade. That weapon... it's why I died. [ another wince, and a little too quickly ] Back home, I mean.

[He looks at her again - he's more upset than angry over that particular bit of news.]

Why would he want something that killed you?

... the Keyblade is a powerful weapon. There's more than one person from my world who wields it... Sora and Roxas do, too. [ very soft smile. ] Sora used it to save everyone. It's not a bad thing, it's just... when it's me, because of what I am... [ shakes her head ]

Edited 2011-01-23 21:44 (UTC)

[Because of what she is...

Luke glances down at the floor again - unsure if he should try, but... He scoots closer, then wraps an arm around Xion's shoulders to pull her against his side again. He's not really sure if he understands it all, but still. She seems like she needs some kind of contact.]

[ she's startled, at first. is Luke always this forward?

... does it matter? with a quiet noise, she shuts her eyes and shifts to lean into his embrace. after a quiet moment ]

Luke ... you can't tell anyone, okay? Maybe it's bad, but ... if anyone finds out what Riku did... [ especially Sanji. ] ... I don't want more trouble.

... I won't. I promise.

[For a moment Luke just keeps her there and watches the fire dance. It's larger now, warming the entire space around them. This is where they had their little Christmas, wasn't it...?]

Sometimes, when people get angry... They just need to fight it out. To get all that anger out of them. If they don't, it just keeps bottling up until they explode over it.

[ she knows. the memory is with her, even right now. she's watching the fire too, thinking about that day.

... maybe reading the book he gave her will help her sleep tonight.

but his words draw her attention back to the present, and she actually looks up at him, eyebrows knitting. ... not only does he not judge her for doing such a stupid thing -- rushing out there, weaponless, to attack someone she knew hat the advantage -- he understands why.

she feels this urge -- to do something, like tilt her head up and... but no, she doesn't even-- he probably doesn't feel--

she bites her lip instead. ]

... I kind of think that was our explosion. But it was better that way, than ... an argument that might have ruined things forever. It's over now... for good, I hope.

I hope so, too.

[Unconsciously, he reaches his hand just a little further to touch his fingers lightly over Xion's arm, the place where he saw the bandages. That's his main concern; he doesn't like seeing her hurt like this, physically and emotionally. But he doesn't bring that up when he speaks.]

It's... really terrible when a relationship like that gets to the point when you can't even talk without fighting. Maybe now it'll be different. [Maybe... they'll even get back together. That's okay... really.]

[ she looks down when she feels his hand on her arm -- partially because it's still so sore, even to a light touch. her expression softens. the bandages run all the way up both her forearms, but ... she doesn't want to worry him with that. ]

You know ... I was going to leave. If it didn't get any better... I'm not sure where I would've gone, though. [ shakes her head.

but somehow .... this -- feels like an important point to add. ] I don't want what we had anymore. It's been so long, and he said ... all these things that I just ... can't forget. [ why is it important to say this? what does it matter? ] ... I just want to be friends again. Besides... every time he tried to explain himself he just hurt my feelings worse. I don't want ... I don't want to just feel like a stupid Replica because of those arguments anymore.

[Because it's not like they'd ever understand what a normal life was like or anything. ... Yeah, Luke's still feeling a little bitter over that letter. What replica wouldn't?

But her saying all of that makes Luke feel... oddly better. Not that he understands it at all - in fact, he's almost appalled for thinking that way over a break-up. But if it means Xion won't feel so hurt anymore...]

Then be friends again. Cool off for a while, then try again. We... The last thing you need is to be even harder on yourself... I know that for sure.

... I know. Right now I'm just ... tired, and my arms hurt, and... [ I don't feel good. but she doesn't say that.

instead she readjusts so she can better curl up against his chest, sighing quietly. ]

[... She's just asking for a hug, curled up like that. So, Luke complies by curling the arm that's already around her shoulders a little closer and brings his other arm around her waist. There's this urge to lower his head and rest his nose in her hair but - no. That's... way too close of a contact, even considering how they are now. All he does is shut his eyes.

And recall what she said. But... you know, he doesn't really want to speak up right now. It's too nice of an atmosphere to break.]

[ dhgakjdlg aaaaaaaaaaa a hug. she has needed a hug so bad and she makes a soft noise and scoots closer so she can bury her face in his chest. her arms, still painful, she keeps carefully, lightly, on his chest, though she does manage to curl her fingers slightly.

she's thinking about it, too. about everything -- how ill and weak she still feels, how she's said nothing about that so far, how ... it was a story for another day while he was still sick.

but it's even harder keeping it a secret now. she shifts slightly, tilting her head back enough just to look at him ...

... and waits. maybe he'll ask, maybe he won't. ]

[When Luke does open his eyes to ask - he doesn't look at her, but at the ceiling.]

Your arms hurt, huh...

Edited 2011-01-24 08:19 (UTC)

[ ... ]

Yeah... why?

Didn't you tell me that you couldn't feel pain before?

[He finally looks down at her - he doesn't look accusatory at all. Just questioning... Maybe just a little sad. He might not know what this implies, but he does know that it probably isn't good.]

[ it won't help that her reaction is to startle so badly she tears out of his arms, leaning back -- but the abruptness of the motion jostles her arms, and she hisses in pain, momentarily curling them to her stomach.

okay, xion. breathe. she shuts her eyes, trying to will away the pain ... and when that doesn't work, she looks back up at Luke anyway, all guilt. ]

... there's ... there's something I didn't tell you, Luke. I'm sorry, I just...

[And of course, when that happened Luke was on his feet and reaching a hand to her, though he doesn't try to grab her.]

Xion!

[She's trying, so Luke will give her the space to do it and stay near the couch. And when she speaks... he turns his head to look at the stairs instead of her.]

It's okay. [He's used to it. Too used to it.]

[ oh, hell. Xion basically flops back down on the couch and again curls up in the tiniest of balls, looking unhappy. if her tone is a little ... challenging, well, forgive her. she's scared. ]

Fine. You want to know where I was the last few days? [ her expression twists. this isn't the way to tell him, Xion, it's not--

but she hurts, Riku's an idiot, maybe if you'd lived a normal life-- ]

I went to get my death penalty removed. [ the look on her face is a wonder -- a mixture of defiance, guilt, and ... something empty. somehow ... empty. ]

[... Oh.

Luke looks down at her again, eyes wide and... maybe a bit scared. What did she say...? While Xion's voice may be challenging, his is very soft.]

Death penalty...?

I've died twice.

[ there's some bite to that, but it's the last thing she'll manage with any force. after that, she buries her face in her knees and tugs at her hair. her voice is much softer now when she speaks, but tinged on the outside with something ... almost like hysteria. ]

On July 11th I turned into a monster and I made my best friends kill me. Again.

Xion...

[She's died... twice? From turning into a monster, from making her friends kill her... Luke clenches his fists and keeps his eyes tightly shut, holding back that violent torrent of emotion, although a tiny sound might've escaped from him. Why her? Why did she have to go through something like that? Why does he keep making her bring up such painful things...

Just... Why her?

But he opens his eyes and sees the reason why he's holding back his emotion in the first place - Xion there, huddled in a ball and looking as if she'll panic and bolt any second. Luke increases the pressure behind his fists, just to get the last of it all out, before he forces them open and takes a few tentative steps to her and reaches out a hand to rest it on her shoulder, gently. He doesn't need to shout and throw a fit when Xion probably feels so much worse than he does... He's not the one who died. He's the one who kept going on about how he lived.]

[ It's too much. Those memories -- her death penalty -- the pain, now, still aching, all of it Riku's fault -- Riku --

for once, it's her own memories clamoring in her mind, vying for dominance and a place to fit ... instead of Sora's. not that that makes her feel any better. in fact, it doesn't even occur to her.

stressed out, sick, weak, exhausted, hounded and haunted by memories, still in pain -- Xion can only hiccup when Luke puts a hand on her shoulder. and then, quietly, she starts to cry. ]

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