oo19 [ voice // action ]

[fourteen]

( Filtered From the Entire KH Crew | Locked 100% )

... is it strange to sometimes wish you could go home? Even if there's nothing there for you? [ nothing except death, in her case. this isn't hilariously morbid or anything, no. ]

I'm just not sure when or how things got so ... complicated. Is this just what life is like...?

[ Xion is outside today, somewhere a little more quiet. She's sitting on the railing of the bridge that passes over the river between houses 14 and 35, swinging her legs gently as she holds onto the rail with one hand and the journal with her other. It ... doesn't seem terribly safe, but then again, she's used to much higher places. Feel free to startle her from her contemplation. She could use it. ]

Comments

[Action]

[hisdarkmark]

...then I suppose I'm not the only one who finds changing to be difficult. You, however, should take your change of thinking a bit more seriously.

[Action]

[fourteen]

I take it seriously! ... of course I do. It's just... [ her brows knit tightly. it's hard to talk about this. she doesn't want to fish for sympathy. ] ... it's still hard to keep from thinking like I'm still the silly little puppet. The mistake that the Organization tried so hard to get rid of. [ shifts, visibly uncomfortable. ] ... I really do try not to think that way anymore. But when I'm upset, it sort of ... comes back.

[Action]

[hisdarkmark]

[He's just going to stare at her for a long time. You know, one of those stares that will probably make her uncomfortable and fidget a bit, but he's clearly thinking this over.] If you want to get technical, all of us are the Malnosso's puppets here. Even if that's the case, your opinions and thoughts and feelings still matter to a good portion of the people here, do they not?

[Action]

[fourteen]

[ she's been subjected to this sort of thing before, actually. so while she's nervous, she doesn't fidget. she just watches him uncertainly. when he finally does speak up, and make that point about all of them being puppets, she can't help but wince a bit. but she bites her lip and forces herself past that, nodding at what he says. ]

... I've made a lot of friends. I know that I matter... or why would people have been so happy to see me come back after I died? [ very sad smile ] ... but when you spend a long time thinking one way, it's hard to change it to a completely different way, even when you know you should.

[Action]

[hisdarkmark]

[Even though it's been a week or so since the last experiment, the effects may or may not have totally worn off. Nah okay, they have worn off, but Draco doesn't want to admit that he's had some Gryffindor tendencies stick such as being determined and trying to boost Xion's morale. He doesn't do this, what the hell? Xion shouldn't be different but she is, and it's that logic that makes him chew his lower lip for a moment before he starts speaking again.]

I think I know that much better than you'd think. A lot of people seem to have this impression about me that they probably shouldn't. You do, for one thing. And yet you're going to insist that I'm not the way I think I am and it'll be horribly hypocritical, don't you think?

[Action]

[fourteen]

[ ... probably shouldn't? but why shouldn't she believe he's a perfectly nice boy? since, well, he IS. totally. Xion just looks at him, for a moment, visibly a bit surprised. she says the next part slowly, as she figures out how to word it ] ... well ... I guess it's easier to believe good things of other people than it is to believe them of yourself, sometimes.

[Action]

[hisdarkmark]

I suppose so...granted I've never really had an easy time believing good things of other people before I came here in the first place, so maybe that theory only works in some cases.