fourteen | oo19 [ voice // action ]

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oo19 [ voice // action ]

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... is it strange to sometimes wish you could go home? Even if there's nothing there for you? [ nothing except death, in her case. this isn't hilariously morbid or anything, no. ]

I'm just not sure when or how things got so ... complicated. Is this just what life is like...?

[ Xion is outside today, somewhere a little more quiet. She's sitting on the railing of the bridge that passes over the river between houses 14 and 35, swinging her legs gently as she holds onto the rail with one hand and the journal with her other. It ... doesn't seem terribly safe, but then again, she's used to much higher places. Feel free to startle her from her contemplation. She could use it. ]

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["Good afternoon"? No, since it isn't a particularly good one for Xion. He stands beside her and looks out over the water, answering her greeting with a nod and a "Hm". After a few seconds of silence, though, he takes a brief sidelong glance at her.]

There is much on your mind. [Captain Obvious to the rescue, folks.]

[ well, not obvious to her. she should really know she's an open book by now, but it still surprises her when others seem to know what she's always trying to hide. her expression turns rather somber again, and she nods. ]

Sometimes I think it's strange, living here. I wasn't supposed to have a future, but Luceti gave me a second chance. I know I should be grateful for that, but... [ kicks her legs gently, thinking for a moment ] If I'd known my second chance was going to be so hard, I'm not sure I would have taken it. Not that I really had a choice or anything, but... [ it's the principle of the thing. ]

[She certainly does have a lot on her mind. Kratos looks down at the river and frowns lightly. Not long ago, he had similar thoughts. But...]

Do you wish to throw your chance away, then?

... no. My whole life is here. My friends, everyone I care about... I think it might be selfish, to do something like that. But ... that doesn't stop me from thinking about it, or wondering. It's hard not to, when things have been so difficult.

Understandable. Everyone suffers from such a feeling at some point in their time here. Strength can only last for so long after being chipped away by faceless beings. At those times, it would be impossible not to find yourself with such thoughts. The most crucial moment is what happens after that...

[He turns his head to look at her.] Do not judge yourself as a selfish person until you decide whether to face those difficulties... or to run away from them.

[ Xion is, for a moment, visibly taken aback. It ... it's not a bad thing, to think this? She was convinced it made her a bad person, selfish... that she was just being weak.

Quickly she looks away, swallowing back the tears that are suddenly threatening to spill over, though she doesn't really understand why. ] ... I've spent so much time running away. It only ever made things worse. I don't want to run anymore. I want to face everything head on, I just ... I don't know if I'm strong enough.

[Kratos looks back at the river again, both to give her just a bit of privacy if she wishes to cry, and to think about just how like him that last part was.]

... If even I can stop running away after spending so much time doing so and face whatever is before me... I believe you can as well.

Even you...? [ she glances at him, her eyes overbright but her cheeks dry. it's hard to imagine tall, stoic Kratos ever being anything but strong. ] ... how did you find the strength?

[It takes some hesitation before the answer comes out. Not that he's uncomfortable, it's simply difficult to find the choice of words for this.]

... I had someone who supported me and guided me to the right path, despite everything I had done. This person taught me that if you want to accomplish something... you must do it yourself. You cannot run from it and expect it to vanish, nor merely shoulder it for however long you may live.

But whether you decide to face the challenges before you, no matter what they may be, or run from them again... You have others who will reach out and support you.

[ ... Xion takes a quiet breath and shuts her eyes. ]

I have someone like that... or maybe had. He was the first person to ever show me that running away wasn't the right answer, but recently ... he betrayed my trust. Badly. [ she opens her eyes, looking down at him, lost and small. ]

That's why I'm so confused now. No one's ever betrayed my trust before, and since it was him ... I guess I'm not sure how to move forward after something like that.

[Speaking as someone who also badly broke the trust of the person he was talking about...]

Find a reason. [And he notices her eyes are on him, so he looks up at her in turn.] Whether it be for the sake of the world or for your friends. And keep yourself open to possibilities. A broken trust can be mended, even if it takes some time. Time... and the courage from the both of you to move forward.

[ "Well, the answer you come up with can't just be right for you. It has to be one that works best for everybody. You and your friends, and everyone else."

There's something so familiar about what he says that Xion can't help but smile, though it's a little bit pained. ]

It can be mended... that's good. I wasn't sure. [ she looks away again, still maybe fighting back tears, but successfully. she's unspeakably grateful right now for his presence and his words. ]

Thank you, Kratos.

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