oo49 [voice] BACKDATED TO THE 6TH

[fourteen]

[ The feed cuts in with the journal's camera staring at the dark sky. It's dim now, in the gray lifeless world that exists after the sun sets but before night truly falls. There's no person to be seen, though briefly a shadow passes over the camera - someone's hand.

There is the sound of crying, audible still over the soft patter of slow rain against the pages. It is at once gasping and muffled, with the very obvious quality of someone trying very hard not to cry and just failing.

Xion's trying. Really she is. Really she knows that he'll be back in a week, that it will be fine, he'll be healthy, they'll be able to move on. Finally. But the months since Luke's kidnapping all the way back in February - since she confronted him and he finally confessed to her in April - have been long, so long, impossibly hard and terribly dark. It is no relief that his death has finally come to pass. It's just the curtain fall on what has been one of the worst periods of her whole, short life. ]

Luke is...

[ She chokes, then coughs, trying to clear her throat and stop the tears. Her voice shakes, but doesn't crack again. ]

Luke fon Fabre is ... is dead. He'll be back... he'll be back in a week.

Maybe I shouldn't have said this. But it's not fair, is it? [ Her voice warps, thick with the tears in her throat. ] The people who love him should know.

I'm sorry.

[ The journal shuts. ]

(ooc; Xion won't be replying to this post, largely, outside of a handful of people she especially feels she wants or needs to speak to. However, relinquishing might be hopping around replies a bit more.)

Comments

[mikangirl]

[...

...the news stuns the breath right out of her. She'd heard Luke's post earlier in the week and now she wishes she'd asked. Too busy dealing with Kazama fallout. (Too busy going to parties, too. Let's be honest with ourselves.)

How?

She's not going to ask Xion that question, because that's not fair.]

...I'm so sorry.

[Not just for Xion, either. There are a few other people she knows of that will be hurt so badly from this.]

[voice]

[relinquishing]

Nami...

[It isn't Xion that answers, but instead another voice that Nami might find familiar. From the sound of the rain in the background, it's easy to guess he's outside as well. His voice is much steadier than Xion's had been in the initial entry... but it was quieter than his normal tone.]

...It's alright. There wasn't anything that could have been done. But he wasn't alone.

[A pause. He sighs roughly.] He'll be back soon enough.

[godbent]

[How? Dumbass. Why? Jackass.

Chee. She's not going to put off Tanabata or the pageant tomorrow for this but she does feel bad about it. Terrible, actually, which is why most of her energy of emotion from this is channeled as anger for Luke.

Maybe she'll stop by where she's fairly certain Xion still lives later. Drop off something. She's not sure what yet though.

...The fact she can react like this is probably a testament to how cold she's gotten here. She's not sure she likes it.]

[dissonates]

[Asch had made an attempt to get there; he really, honestly had. Maybe he should have left immediately, or maybe he should have moved faster, despite his blindness or any reluctance he'd felt about being there when Luke died. With them. Not because he hated them or didn't want to see them. Even Guy.

Because a part of him knew that he wouldn't make it.

Because a part of him knew that it would feel like this once it was over.

So when it ends, when Luke breathes his last and his fonons dissipate entirely, and the link between them fizzles out of existence, Asch is only two-thirds of the way, scratched and dirty and soaked from the rain and several stumbles, thanks to his fumbling jog down the village path. It'd been a miracle that he hadn't run into a tree in the process.

He staggers into one when he feels it happen. His fingers curl against the bark, skin scraping, and he slumps against it for a long moment. He wants to laugh; really, the attempt itself was pathetic, and what's even more pathetic is that he's stuck out here, without even a beacon of the fonic link to guide him home. He should have just stayed in bed.

Idiot, idiot. What had he been planning to do, anyway? Hold his hand? Tell him it was going to be okay? Say they'd meet again soon? Smile? That's not for him. He's never been that kind of ally, friend, whatever, and he never will be. Luke has Xion and Guy for that. Asch is there to-

...to...

...I shouldn't have come.

Yet here he is, still at least a mile or two away. Idiot.

His chest is pounding and there's a dull ache in the back of his head, like someone reached into his brain and tore a good chunk of it out. He can feel it there, that deep, depressing emptiness. He feels sick for a moment, and he turns his back to the tree, slowly sliding down until he hits the ground. Just a minute. He just needs a minute.

And that's where he'll be, however long it takes for Xion and Guy to get moving again: sitting against a tree, a mess of mud and rain and red hair, staring sightlessly at the grieving sky.]

[relinquishing]

[It takes a short while to get Xion to get to her feet, but soon enough the two were making the trek back into the village. It was important that Xion keep moving - not only to get out of the rain, but so she could be around familiar faces and have someone there to cry on. God knew Guy couldn't be that person, even if he wanted to.

The walk is slow and somberly quiet, only broken up by the occasional shuddering breath from Xion and the consistent patter of rain against the trees. Murky and muddy and... well, rather fitting for the current mood. Luke would be back enough... if Asch had come back within a week's time, then so would his replica. But there was still that ache that came with watching over the dead... watching someone's suffering slowly trickle to an end, to see the life flicker and fade from their eyes...

Despite the fact that Xion was there as well, it still left the journey back to the village feeling empty.

About a mile into their walk, though, there's that spot of red. A body tucked away against a tree, slumped and soaked to the bone, seemingly out of place this far into the forest. It was enough to get Guy to slow down his movements, waving down Xion with a gentle gesture of the hand.]

Whoa, hey, hold up for a second... Asch...?

audio:

[shenevermisses]

What do people do here for the dead?

[She recognizes the name. The boy she talked to about how to face knowing when you were going to die.]

audio:

[fourteen]

[ The response comes the day following. It takes her that long to even want to answer this question. ]

... that depends. Usually ... usually I don't think anything is really done. The body vanishes, after a while, so...

[failazure]

[The first thing she wants to do is scream what, because it had only been three days since she'd last seen him. It shouldn't be a surprise. Noel was one of the very few who learned of his condition, even if she had been too late in finding out. The memories of a weak, sickly Luke lingered in her head for the last few days, and she wanted to see him again so badly, but things got in the way.

And like that, he was gone.

There's disbelief. Confusion. Maybe some anger, too, because none of this was fair. Luke didn't have to die. He didn't have to die, and yet... yet he still did, and here they were.

It's so silly of her. It's been almost three years... shouldn't she be used to people coming back in a week's time? What does death matter? Even she's died now. Then again, in a way... maybe it's one of the few things that's remained pure for Noel in Luceti. Her gut reaction to death-- the death of a friend.]

... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Xion.

[That's all she can say. After those words are spoken, she quickly closes the journal to hide the fact that she, too, might also start to cry.

Luke.

Noel throws the journal at the wall. So what? She's mad, okay!

Luke...!

She's mad, and sick of everything, and... and she can't take this anymore.

Luke didn't have to die!]

[fourteen]

Noel...

[ It's several hours later that Xion finally returns to this. It had hurt terribly to even open her journal, to risk hearing voices and condolences and reminders reminders reminders that she'd watched Luke die.

It's really only because it's Noel that she's even responding. Because... they all shared a bond, didn't they? If anyone deserved a response... ]

I...

[ ... not that she knows what to say. ]

... thanks. [ Her voice is tiny, and lacking in conviction, but she says it. ]

[ voice ]

[breezing]

[ Oh, it's a name Ikki knows - Luke had given her his whole name, the Luke who wasn't Nomi's Luke, and he'd talked about airships, and magic, although she'd never once seen his face on the video screen. Ikki's memory has always been good - once she learns something, she tends to retain it, although there's so, so, so much she doesn't know. People's names, people's faces, those are amongst the most important things to remember.

And then it's followed by that news, and Ikki remembers, really vaguely, the very few funerals she'd been to when she was little, littler than now. She knows what death and dying is, and she remembers everything people have said about the things that are bad here, but it hadn't occurred to her one of those things was happening to that boy.

He'll be back, though. That's - is that a good thing? Ikki's not sure, but she's glad to hear that, although she's still just staring at her book. ]

...I'm sorry. Mister Luke's really nice.

[ voice ]

[relinquishing]

[The response comes from a different voice entirely, although the slow patter of rain in the background of the feed shows he's at least outside. Whether the young girl could guess that Guy was with Xion or not was up to her.

He can't help but let a little more life into his voice at the innocent honesty of her statement.]

He is, isn't he...? Glad you think so.

He'll be home again soon.

[Voice]

[knightofratatosk]

So that's... that's why he asked that question...

[Emil had really only considered it odd for a moment before brushing it off, assuming it was just another one of those philosophical or hypothetical questions that people liked to ask over the journals sometimes. But now that he knows the true meaning behind it, he can't help but wish he'd had any idea what was going on when he answered that question.]

I'm so sorry...

[blessingone]

[That was certainly not what she was expecting when she opened up her journal. She doesn't know Luke that well other than in the position of Xion's boyfriend, but, even so, she knows him well enough to like him. She does wonder how he died, but she's learned her lesson. No asking the upset people. They'd have said if it was dangerous for other people, right?

Still, with Luke unable to do, well, anything for about a week, the one to really worry about right now was Xion. ...And Luke's other friends, but she doesn't know them, so she can't do anything about that. Fenimore doesn't believe in leaving people alone when they're upset. You know, unless it's herself, in which she would rather keep people at arm's length. That's totally not hypocritical what are you talking about.

She does give it until the morning, though, before sending a voice message under a rather terrible filter. Like, 10% or something. And that after she put some time into making it. She really doesn't get filters. She would have rathered go to her immediately, but she's pretty sure she would have been rebuffed.]

Hey. Where are you?

[When she (presumably) doesn't get an answer even by the time the cross beauty pageant has ended, she frowns and sets out to find her. This would likely be a futile task even if not for the security on Xion's house (if it's still there). This results in Fenimore wandering around the bridge nearest House 14, still in her crossdressing clothes. She doesn't actually know where Xion lives I think, but she knows it's near that bridge after they met up there once. She doesn't stop even when it starts to rain while it says it's raining that day I assume it cleared up for the beauty pageant and tanabata fireworks because god demands it.

But eventually, after a few hours, she has to give up and go back to her house. ...Maybe it's for the best. Her attempts to comfort people generally have about a 1:1 success-to-epic-fail ratio. But her other friends better be doing their job in looking after Xion or, so help her, she'll....

...think of something. Hmm. Threats are harder to carry out when you are well below the average skill rate of the village.]

[fourteen]

[ It's late in the evening when Xion finally replies. ]

... I'm sorry, Fenimore. I just... can I see you in a few days?

[seleniahymn]

[Three times.

Three times – no four, including the draft they had fought together here in Luceti, that was the number of times she has been faced with the possibility of Luke's death.

And this was the first time it actually happened.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair it wasn't and it could never be. It wasn't supposed to happen to him, not here where he did not yet know of the amount of sacrifice he would have to give when he one day returned to Auldrant. Not here where he had the opportunity to just live. It had all come crashing down when he had approached her a week ago to reveal that what was happening to him in Auldrant during her time was happening to him here.

The world had already been dark enough today. What was supposed to be a sigh instead sounds closer to a choked sob as she turns away from the journal, trying to focus on what his wishes for the situation would be. Yet that reserve refused to allow her a place to hide.

There wasn't supposed to be a first time.]

[voice]

[relinquishing]

Tear...

[Guy's voice stays soft - just loud enough to speak over the rainfall in the background before letting his voice drift off. Tear wasn't one to cry. Never - not in the entire time he'd known her. Emotions were tucked away in a manner Guy could somewhat understand, leaving only room for the practical and logical. The mind of a soldier... with a heart that spoke kindness outside that barrier. Compassion behind a cold exterior.

So to hear that choked sound from her? It was a surprise... but at the same time, not surprising at all.]

[distressedude]

[The last time Ion spoke to Luke had been a warning and he knew it. Luke never outright said it, but he didn't have to: something had happened and Luke was dying. That was all Ion knew.]

[But that didn't make hearing this any easier. All he can do is stare helplessly down at the journal, Xion's words not quite reaching him. Luke fon Fabre is dead. Luke is dead. He feels as though he can't wrap his mind around the concept that Luke isn't in Luceti right now. Ion can't talk to him, he can't see him, he can't hear his voice... he's gone. And even knowing in the back of his mind that he'll be back in a week does nothing to change the fact that right now Luke is dead.]

[Even now, so many questions occupied Ion's thoughts. What happened? Had he suffered? Was there nothing they could have done to prevent this? Why didn't he say anything before!?]

[He tries to speak, but the words catch in his throat and not a single sound comes out. Gripping the edge of his journal, hand shaking, he has half a mind to close it right then and there, but he can't bring himself to do that either. As though suspended in the moment, he sits and stares for only a few seconds longer before bowing his head and uttering a single word, just barely above a whisper.] Luke...

[Written]

[relinquishing]

[...

The two quiet, failed attempts at speech are noted. Guy gives it a moment before switching the audio and video off, flipping the journal open a little more to slowly scrawl out a response. He was beyond caring about the raindrops imprinting on the page along with the words.]

It's alright, Ion. [...as alright as it could be, anyways. Nothing about this was "right".] He wasn't alone.

[Voice]

[ledbythewind]

[Death is something that Richard is no stranger to. It's a brutal, ugly thing, and he knows all too well that even the most heartfelt of condolences can only do so much to alleviate the painful emptiness left behind. The grief that follows is something that has to be worked through on one's own-- no one else can do it for you.

But that doesn't mean Richard can't offer his support, meager though it may be.]

... I see. I'm sorry.

[He doesn't offer an ear should she need it, because that should go unspoken in the tone of his voice. It's up to her whether she wants to accept it or not.]

[silversnowfall]

[There really is only one reaction to this.]

What?

[That's why he asked those questions about dying. Why he cared so much what other people would do. It wasn't because he learned his at-home future; it was because of his very short future here.]

What?

[Voice]

[inkdrops]

[Miyabi knows something's wrong before the message even starts. She hears Xion crying, and she just knows something is wrong. As soon as she utters the word "Luke", the poor girl's heart begins to race, and she feels as if someone is pressing very hard on her chest. She barely hears the rest of what Xion says afterwards, the ringing in her ears too deafening to hear much of the outside world for a few seconds.

But she doesn't need to hear those words - maybe doesn't even want to. Miyabi had a sick and terrible feeling that something was wrong with Luke. From when he rescued her during the past storm to his not-so cryptic message over the journals after...she felt it in her heart that he wasn't... She says nothing, just puts a hand over her mouth to smother most of her very sudden sobs, gripping at her desk to stay upright. But it's no use, the girl falls to her knees when her legs give out, and she cries softly into her hands. She can't even muster up the strength to say anything - it hurts too much.]

[Voice]

[fourteen]

... Miyabi?

[Nothing]

[its_rose_damnit]

[Seeing the message, Dist actually drops his pen from his fingers, his eyes growing large. The replica was already--?! By the sounds of it, it seemed like he died just now...but had it really been so soon? Dist had his thoughts elsewhere recently with Ion's health and the damage done during the storm that the replica's death wasn't at the forefront of his thoughts for some time. But looking through the notes on the boy's health that he took during each time Luke came to see him...it was true. He was to die on this day.

Chewing his lip, Dist abandons this entry to go and make his own. He has to get in contact with Asch now.]

[More Nothing]

[markofthewise]

[He didn't know Luke well. Not as much as he wanted to anyway. But he freezes when he hears the news. And for a moment, his hand goes over his heart, clutching the fabric over it tightly. Almost two weeks now. Almost weeks since he had died, only brought back thanks to luck. And all his own doing. Only three people knew about it. And he feels a knot in his stomach as he thinks about how this same announcement could have been made about him. It makes him feel hollow inside.

He feels bad for Xion. And. He'll need to do something. So he closes the journal and sits in his room for awhile longer. Quiet and feeling tortured.]

voice;

[gleamed]

[She outright gasps and drops the journal when she hears this. It's such a sudden and utter shock she doesn't feel anything for a moment, but then her mind starts to catch up with her heart and she suddenly finds herself washed with sadness. How could this have happened? She didn't even have the chance to save him this time. And so soon, so soon after Asch...

She bites her lip, wanting to shut the journal and wish it away. But no, Luke deserves better than that. And whoever made this announcement deserves to know that their efforts in this sadness are appreciated.]

...Thank you. For letting us know. I'm so, so sorry.

voice;

[fourteen]

.... you ... weren't you there? That day.

[ Be more vague, Xion. She means the day that Asch died. The day of the attack. ]

[voice]

[failguardian]

[There's a sharp little intake of breath.]

What?

[Luke...dead? How? She might have suspected it was a joke, but it's Xion making the announcement and Xion didn't seem like the type to joke about something like this. And her voice, with the obviously stifled tears...]

[It's true. Luke is dead.]

What happened...? How did he... [Her tone abruptly shifts into anger, words spoken through gritted teeth.] Did someone murder him? I'll kill them.

[voice]

[perplexme]

...if you're not home, I'm coming to you. Where are you?

[voice]

[fourteen]

...

I'm coming.

[positivelycharged]

[Luke's dead? That's not good...but if he'll be back, then that's...slightly less bad, at least. Yes, that makes sense.

...Then again, if Luke's going to come back, then he's not sure why this girl sounds so sad.]

...Do you miss him?

[fourteen]

[ Several hours later: ]

Yes.

voice;

[trashed]

[He's unaffected, the big jerk. You people just can't stop dying, can you?]

If he's just going to be back in a week, then why are you guys even being so dramatic?

[voice]

[death_awaits_you]

Death may not seem fair. [ Ryoji's voice is gentle - calm and quiet. ] But it is a part of all living things - and it is what awaits anything that is alive. Without death, there would be no room for new life, and it is best to, in the end, accept death.


I hope he died at peace, however, and that he will be all right when he returns....

[voice]

[fourteen]

[ It's the uniqueness of the response that gets Xion to really pay attention to it. She's not thinking straight, for the most part - it's hard to think at all.

But the voice is so gentle. There's no reproach, no anger -- no sorrow. No condolences. It's like a sudden oasis in this sea of grief into which she's been plunged. ]

... I know. It's not ... that I don't accept it. It's just ... sad.

... thank you.

[voice]

[personafalsify]

Xion--

[ But he stops. Maybe... maybe he shouldn't have responded. Not when he's still so unsure about his own feelings towards Luke. But he already said something, and the recording's going even now. So he swallows and keeps going. ]

Don't apologize. You don't need to.

[ That's... enough for him. As long as she hears that, that's enough. ]

[voice]

[fourteen]

..... Kohan.

[ A day later. She just doesn't know how to react. ]

[voice]

[concasse]

[Unlike most, Sanji knew this was coming, and had been waiting for it, even. He stares blankly at the page, letting the message hit home and sink into his skin, words caught in his throat - some of them venomous, thanks for that, Sync - but eventually he just utters her name under his breath, not bothering with a filter]

Xion?

[voice]

[fourteen]

Dad. [ Her voice cracks. He's the only one she answers immediately - even Noel got something of a pause. ]