fourteen | [ ic / appointments ]

[... Maybe it'd be better if he was closer. Sure, he can't get on the bed or anything; her body was so broken that Luke was almost afraid of touching her, despite wanting to. What if he hurt her? She's already in pain just trying to face him...

So, he stands and takes a couple of steps up, towards the pillows, and leans over so that she won't have to turn her head so much. He's still holding the pillow - in fact, his grip on it was only tightening as she became more coherent, and the blanket remains around his shoulders, as if he were wearing a robe.

But one hand is still free, and he uses that to graze his fingers against her cheek. He even chances a smile. It holds no pride.]

Hey.

[ Her eyelids flutter shut again when he touches her cheek, and she takes in a slow breath. ... this might still be a dream. He'd touched her face in her dreams, too... gently.

Her eyes slowly open again, and she keeps watching him. For a whole week she struggled terribly with trying to reconcile the boy she loved with the boy Luke had become... or reverted to. And she'd seen the parallels ... in the way he moved, sometimes in the way he smiled... in very rare instances, just sometimes in his tone of voice.

She loved him still, no matter how he acted... but she'd missed this Luke very, very much. His gentle kindness and his bravery, his silly jokes and his smiles... ]

Luke...? Is that... [ She tilts her face into his touch, eyes half-lidding as she briefly looks away, gathering herself, before looking back up at him ]

You're ... here? [ You're really here? ]

[He can't blame her for still doubting his presence. It'd be hard enough to believe with just him there, but with all of that medication in her body? He'd be surprised if she knew it was him right off.]

Yeah. [His smile widens a bit before it fades, then disappears entirely as he glances down at her collarbones, just to break eye contact. There was... one thing that he wanted to try. One thing that might convince her... but what right did he have to do that? To kiss her, to do so for the first time in more than a week, let her feel a pleasant and warm touch... After all he's done, she might just turn her head away, and Luke isn't sure if he could take rejection like that.

He wants to apologize so badly. But as he looks up at her eyes again with another small, yet weak smile, and cups her cheek in his hand, he realizes that that'll have to come once she realizes that he's really back. That he said goodbye to that person he was once again.]

I'm here.

[ More than two weeks. Considering their joint kidnapping...

Maybe if she were more aware, she'd like this. As it is, she doesn't reply and only shuts her eyes again, resting against his hand and drawing deep, slow breaths. Only the purposeful nature of her breathing, like she's trying to calm down, proves she's actually still awake.

Gradually, with a fierce internal struggle, she calms her thoughts into some sort of order. It's really pretty difficult, all things considered. But if she focuses, really focuses, then she can think through the pain and the medication.

After a solid minute she opens her eyes again, and for the first time she actually focuses on him, instead of looking vaguely in his general direction. Her voice, too, is a little more focused. ]

Your ... your hair. It's normal again.

It's short again, anyway. [Because for Luke, who lived seven years with long hair and only spent several months with short hair? Is still not quite used to it. But unlike the last time he cut his hair, where every snip of the knife that Tear gave as she styled his hair felt like a part of his life was being cut away... This time, with each snip of the scissors Asch had, he felt a little more free. A little more like himself.

The smile on his face wavers and disappears again, and he leans back, bringing his hand away from her check in favor of holding the pillow with both arms. Out of everyone he talked to while he had long hair, she was probably the one who suffered the most. He'd snapped at her and forgot her... And was such an idiot around her. Even towards the end, he acted so terribly.

The thought makes him look away, down at her feet.]

I acted like such a jerk to everyone... [He trails off. He would go on about how that person wasn't there anymore, that he'd never be like that again... but Xion might not be able to take so many words. Not with her mind fogged up with medicine... So, he shuts his eyes and keeps it short.] Especially you. I could probably apologize a thousand times to you and still feel like that isn't enough.

[He looks out of the corner of his eye to her.] ... Do you mind if I stay with you until you get better?

[ By the time he looks back at her, the first thing he'll see is that she's trying to lift her arm. It's her left arm, at least, so doing so is somewhat less hideously painful than it would be to lift her right. Still, thanks to her shoulder, she can't lift it more than a few inches off the bed. Her hand trembles slightly with the effort...

... but she's trying to reach him. He moved away, and she wants him to come back.

The strain is too much, so she lets her hand fall, but she looks at him with such sadness. ]

Please stay. I'd ... I'd like that, a lot.

Edited 2011-07-14 17:30 (UTC)

[The first thing Luke does once he sees that is try to reach out his hand, to lower her own back to the bed and get her to stop moving. But hers drops before he can, and he lets out a quiet sigh and brings his arm back to the pillow.]

... Okay. I'll stay, then.

[He moves closer, and he leans down enough to press his cheek against hers, moving the pillow aside so that it won't touch her. He hadn't heard the full extent of her injuries... and he doesn't want to accidentally hurt her while he's just trying to get closer to her, to give her the contact she wants.

... If he'd just been there -]

I'm sorry.

[ She shuts her eyes again, relieved when he presses his cheek to hers. She missed this so much...

It's probably a result of her condition ... she's tired, and not thinking clearly. Maybe it's the pain, too. But Luke might feel, after a moment, dampness on his cheek. The tears leaking out of her eyes are few, though... her body couldn't sustain the effort of really crying, after all. ]

What for? [ Her voice is gentle. ]

[He feels those tears against his cheek... It makes him feel even worse. Did he make her sad just now? Or did he hurt her?

The thought makes him lean back again, though he pulls the chair up closer with his foot so that he can sit down hear her head.]

For acting like such a jerk to you... For not being there. If I wasn't like that, this... maybe this wouldn't have happened to you.

[ No... she's relieved. He's finally back, they can finally...

... she can't lift her arms to wipe the tears off her face. Her expression scrunches up a tiny bit, briefly shuts her eyes -- sighs when two last tears fall. That must be why he looks so sad... and she can't even brush them away, and reassure him... it's frustrating. ]

The only person... Vanitas... he's the only one to blame. I think my time just ... ran out. [ She always knew, someday, that this would come. But it would have been nice to win, instead of nearly get killed. ] You're here now... it's okay.

[He sighs, and he reaches up to brush his thumb along her cheeks, to dry her tears for her. Her words don't reassure him at all, though, as the sad look in his eyes doesn't fade one bit. He moves his hand up, to brush her hair back, as he speaks.]

I still could've been with you. But I was so busy looking out for myself that I didn't even...

Luke... [ Her voice is a little ... fraught. She's tired and she hurts and she doesn't want to have this conversation. All she wants is to be with him, and feel his warmth, and know he's there. She knows he feels guilty, but she just...

Sue can't do this right now. The look in her eyes is quietly pleading. ]

[... He's seen that look before, and that tone of voice. On Tear, and Natalia, when he'd quietly bring up something regarding his lack of self-worth. It's always... frustrating, not just directed towards the others, but himself, too. There he went, bringing up something that no one wants to hear about again.

So, he locks it away. And he brings his hand back to place his arms on the bed - not touching her, as her shoulder is still hurt and he doesn't want to aggravate it, but close. He looks ahead, at her arm, much more quiet and subdued now.]

... Sorry. You're right.

[ Were it any other time, any other day, she'd push right now. She hates it when Luke locks things away... she doesn't want him to ever feel like he needs to keep part of himself from her.

But right now, she literally does not have the energy. She just can't. She only gives a faint, tiny shake of her head, and shuts her eyes. Her head is still tilted towards him, though... and she kind of wishes he'd go back to touching her cheek. It was reassuring.

After a quiet minute, when it seems like she migh have fallen asleep again, she speaks up, just above a whisper. ]

I'm glad you came.

[The comment makes him glance at her, somewhat in surprise, and then smile a little. It still hurts to see her like this... and he can't help still feeling guilt over it. But she's happy he's here... And for now, this is all he can do for her.

He reaches his hand down to stroke her arm, gently, for a few minutes, before he gets tired of that action. Whether or not she's fallen asleep by then, Luke leans back to place the pillow on the space between her side and the bed, then rests his head and arms on that. It's too early to be sleeping for him, but at least he'll have a little bit of comfort while he sits by her side.]

[ It's as he strokes her arm that she truly falls back to sleep. Only with the knowledge that he's there... with the comfort of his touch. She'll be out for the next few hours at least, if not longer. But if it means anything ... she fell asleep with a quiet smile on her face. ]

[And Luke had kept his promise, idly sleeping here and there, but usually awake when Xion would be, even in the dead of night. He'd leave only to get some food, or visit with Asch, or change into some clothes for the day. Today Xion had a lot of visitors, so Luke mostly hung around outside of her room, occasionally catching a few naps on the chairs outside. Because really, sitting on a chair beside her bed was not comfortable enough for sleeping, and his body made sure to let him know this.

Still, he's used to running on little sleep. And right now, he's sitting at her side again, glancing around at the gifts that people left her. He had brought a gift himself that day - an agapanthus, which sits in a pot on the windowsill. Now that it's clear for a little while, Luke crosses his arms and leans back, his gaze coming back to Xion.]

I don't know what you're going to do with all of this stuff.

Edited 2011-07-18 04:26 (UTC)

I don't know either! [ She smiles helplessly; she would laugh, but it still hurts. ] I'll have to figure something out... [ She looks at him, tilting her head. ] You'll get to help me, too.

... I'm gonna have to carry all of it, huh?

[ dis face. ]

[Is this who Luke has become? The boyfriend who carries all of his girlfriend's shopping bags while she only carries her purse?

Apparently so, because Luke just lets out a long sigh. Though she won't get away without his usual complaining.]

I'll probably have to take two trips... Man, I got hurt and all I got was a stupid cast!

[ A tiny, gentler smile. ] You still got everyone to sign it, though. That's something, right? [ always the bright side. ]

I guess so... [Except he got it taken off when he'd been reverted to his past self, and that part of him didn't appreciate it like he did. He leans over to lean his arms on the bed and rest his chin on them, a position he's taken a lot since he vowed to stay with her.]

How're you feeling right now? You're probably going to get more visitors... Are you up for that?

[ ... for a moment, she doesn't say anything, but the sudden uncertain cast to her smile should say it all for her. ]

I'm tired... It's easier to stay awake today, but my throat hurts. Part of me just wants to sleep... but I want to see them, too.

I can wake you up if anyone else comes by, if you want me to.

[Idly, he moves one arm to stroke her upper arm with the tips of his fingers lightly. He looks at her face, too. There's something he's been wanting to do for a while now... He couldn't yesterday; she was so out of it that the significance behind it might have been lost. Now...

Maybe she's still too tired.]

[ ic / appointments ]

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[Action; Evening of July 14th] ... /extremely belated edit

[Action; Evening of July 14th] oh emily |D

[Action; Evening of July 14th] what. 8|

[Action; Evening of July 14th] NICE EDIT.

[Action; Evening of July 14th] YES THANK YOU I THOUGHT SO TOO. B|

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