... I dreamed I was suffocating. At least, it was hard to breathe... there was this man standing there, watching me. I think ... somehow, he was the one making it happen to me. I don't know what it was, but ... something was happening to me. It hurt... but I wasn't scared.

[ at least ... not entirely. it had been deep down, a bright singing sharp note beneath the heavy darkness of resignation. ] ... that's what woke me up this morning. Feeling like I was suffocating. There were other dreams, though... I was a monster in one of them. ... I think. I'm still not sure... how that thing could have been me.

[ she pauses there, not sure how to say the next part. ]